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HONESTY IN THREESOMES & OVERCOMING JEALOUSY--Talk to Peter, by Maria       DO 2023       2/85
--Maria 27

       1. JEALOUSY IS A UNIVERSAL PROBLEM & IT SEEMS THAT EVERYBODY HAS IT AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. Everything can be going along real nice & you can look like a saint when everything's going your way & you don't have any cause for alarm or reason to fear losing someone or something, but then the situation may change & that's when the crunch comes & you're tested. That's when you really see how you're going to react, when you do have an emergency come up or you're faced with a situation where you have to share. I can look like a saint now, I'm not jealous, but that's because nothing's come up lately that bothers me or that I feel fearful about. If things were to change & Dad was to start taking the same girl to bed with him every night, I would probably get quite jealous.
       2. I HOPE I WOULD GET THE VICTORY OVER IT, BUT MY PAST RECORD ISN'T THE GREATEST IN THAT RESPECT. I think I've grown though, & I think that the Lord would help me & I'd have a victory & I'd overcome it. You can't make a flat-out statement about people just judging from one time period: "This person is jealous & this person isn't", because a lot depends on the particular situation that they are in at that time. One person's situation may be such that he's very secure & has nothing to feel jealous about at the moment, while another's situation may give cause for the person to be fearful & not have faith that their mate loves them as much as they did before or something, it just depends on the situation.
       3. MOST OF US--ALMOST EVERYBODY, I WOULD VENTURE TO SAY--PROBABLY HAS PROBLEMS OF JEALOUSY OVER SOMEBODY OR SOMETHING AT SOMETIME IN THEIR LIFE! So you can't just look at everybody during one time period & say, "This person is jealous & this person isn't!" Some people are just going through their jealousy tests & trials during that period when another person maybe isn't because they presently have some relief from it. Maybe they passed their test for a little while or they're going through other things that they have to learn & in the Lord's mercy He doesn't give us all the tests at the same time or a whole bunch of them on different things at the same time. It seems, though, that many people do have problems with jealousy, especially since we believe in & practice "One Wife" sharing, & it's such an important part of our life, & is a major lesson in sacrificial sharing & giving & unselfishness that the Lord wants all of us to learn.
       4. THERE ARE QUITE A FEW THREESOME TYPE RELATIONSHIPS IN THE FAMILY NOW & the question has come up about whether in beginning a new relationship, the mate sharing with a new partner should be honest with the one not involved in the new relationship about their feelings for the new love, as it might adversely affect the one not so directly involved or make them feel bad or embarrassed or make them react coldly or hurt & you would rather not put them through that. It's like with D, P, & J--D made such a fuss about P & J, her mate, sharing regularly, & acted so jealous, that they started hiding their feelings for each other from her. Now she's sorry because she wants them to act in a normal, natural way, but she knows that because she exposed her problem to them, now they're reacting in a more secretive way just to save her! So that is always a consideration & you wonder what to do about it.
       5. IF YOU CAN SHOW CONSISTENTLY THAT YOU HAVE THE VICTORY IN SOMETHING, EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY STILL GO THROUGH SOME TRIALS ABOUT IT, if you can show them that it's just a normal trial that the Lord is allowing you to have so you can get the victory, then the others don't have to feel they must hide things from you, & you all should be able to share honestly together. I explained that to Juan, I said, "Well, Peter's told you he's jealous, but he always gets the victory, so we shouldn't feel bad or act in a different way than is natural." Actually if we reacted in an inhibited way just because we're afraid we're going to hurt his feelings, then it would make him feel worse than if we'd just act natural!
       6. YOU SHOULD TRY TO MAKE IT AS EASY FOR JEALOUS PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE, BUT IF THERE'S SOMETHING YOU CAN'T AVOID DOING, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T WORRY THAT MUCH ABOUT IT & YOU SHOULDN'T ELIMINATE IT. If it's something that you're supposed to do--someone you need to share with--you should still go ahead & do it anyway, even if it's going to hurt the other one a little.
       7. I SAID, "PETER ALWAYS GETS THE VICTORY, that's just his thorn in the flesh that the Lord uses to keep him humble & keep him close to the Lord. You don't have to worry about it. Don't worry that when I'm talking to you or when I'm with you that Peter's going to feel bad, if he does, he'll get the victory! That's for me to feel bad about & for the Lord to take care of, but you don't have to do anything about it & it's not your problem. You're not the one who's causing the problem, you should just continue to act natural & react exactly the same way as you always do. Just keep loving him & praying for him & being considerate & sweet & sympathetic."
       8. I THINK THOSE INHIBITED FEELINGS OF AWKWARDNESS & JEALOUSY CAN BE OVERCOME & that we shouldn't have to be that way with each other & hopefully we could all get the victory. I mean, even if you are jealous, you can still love Juan & treat him the same as you would otherwise, & he can treat you in a natural way & not feel like he's harming you or something.
       9. ON THE BROADER BASIS, THIS APPLIES MORE TO THREESOMES, OF WHICH WE HAVE SO MANY IN THE FAMILY. It's a little hard to get three people together & all of them loving each other & being unselfish & unjealous, no matter how much love you have. That's why I think it's good to talk about this kind of thing, because it applies in a much bigger way as far as threesomes in the Family & even in FFing too.
       10. THE QUESTION IS ALWAYS WHETHER EVERYBODY SHOULD BE HONEST ABOUT EVERYTHING, & THEN AS A RESULT, EVERYBODY'S FEELING BAD ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON & AWKWARD & NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO. Are you going to be completely honest with all your problems & as a result have some people embarrassed & feeling awkward or very bad that they're hurting you, or are you going to keep it quiet & hope it's not going to affect people so badly? Are you going to try to get the victory on your own, instead of everybody getting the victory together, or are you going to try to get the victory with the help of just one of the others involved instead of both or all three of them? That's still the question & I haven't come up with the answer yet.
       11. RIGHT NOW WE'RE ONLY DISCUSSING THE DEGREE OF HONESTY AMONGST FAMILY MEMBERS, BUT WITH FISH, THAT'S ANOTHER CASE! With a fish you can't be completely open about problems like jealousy because you'll oftentimes lose them if you tell them, "my husband's jealous." The fish says, "Oh no, I love your husband too & I don't want to do anything to hurt him so I'm going to leave," unless they are so far in the Family that they understand. A lot of men, though, would be scared off, because they're sweet & loving & some of them are saved, & they don't want to do anything to break up your marriage, or hurt you or your husband or the children because they probably love you all.
       12. BUT IN THE FAMILY I THINK IT'S A BIT DIFFERENT, BECAUSE THERE WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO BE OPEN & HONEST WITH EACH OTHER. Of course, being open about such things can make people feel a little awkward, but I think that may be better than hiding it, that is, where you're pretty sure you're not going to lose a weak Family Member over it. We're talking about strong Family members that are going to at least fight to get the victory & who aren't going to get so upset that they fling everything overboard & backslide. If someone is like that, that would be a case where it may be best not to tell them, or at least spare them the details.
       13. MY PERSONAL OPINION IS THAT IT'S BEST FOR EVERYBODY TO BE HONEST, WHEN ALL THE CONCERNED PARTIES ARE FAIRLY EQUALLY STRONG & IT DOESN'T INVOLVE A BABE OR A FISH, OR SOMEONE WHO IS VERY WEAK. Honesty seems to be the best policy in the case where you have strong Family members in a relationship, like for instance Joan & Tracy & Juan who have all been in the Family for years, they're all strong Family members & you don't have any worry that they would ever backslide over it. In a situation like that I think it's good to be honest, it's good to work things out together.
       14. THE IDEAL OR FIRST BEST SITUATION IS ONE WHERE ALL THREE WOULD BE ABLE TO PRAY ABOUT IT ALL TOGETHER & BE ABLE TO TALK FREELY & UNINHIBITED ABOUT THE PROBLEM AMONGST THE THREE OF THEM WITH NO EMBARRASSMENT & ALL THREE FEELING IT'S THEIR PROBLEM UNITEDLY TO BE OVERCOME BY ALL THREE. The next best situation is where you can still be honest even though some people feel a little awkward or a little embarrassed or inhibited because of your problems. You feel bad because you have the problem & you know it's causing them a problem, & they feel bad because they know that it's causing you to feel bad. But you can still love each other & everybody get along all right, even though you may still feel a bit awkward.
       15. THE THIRD BEST SITUATION, WHICH IS NECESSARY IN SOME CASES WHEN IT INVOLVES A FISH OR A WEAKER PERSON, IS WHEN YOU CAN'T LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU'RE HAVING ANY PROBLEMS. When you know that it will cause them a lot of trials if you tell them that your mate is jealous & they may just give up & say, "It's too hard, I don't want to encroach on his time, I don't want to make it hard for you," then in such cases perhaps it's better not to say anything.
       16. BUT I THINK IN MOST NORMAL CASES WHICH INVOLVE STRONG FAMILY MEMBERS IN A THREESOME OR A FOURSOME OR WHATEVER, IT'S BETTER TO BE COMPLETELY OPEN & HONEST & try to pray about it & bring everything out in the open & be natural about things & for everybody to help each other. Of course I know this isn't easy, but it's at least a goal, something to strive for. The second best, which is how most of our multiple mate relationships work, is to be honest & open, even though one of them may have problems & is perhaps jealous. But even if one person is jealous of another person & everybody knows about it, & even if it makes things a little awkward, you can still get along together & can still fight against it & you can still try to overcome the problem together.
       17. I'VE BEEN JEALOUS OF A LOT OF THE GIRLS WHO'VE BEEN WITH DAD, MORE SO IN THE PAST THAN NOW, but at least I tried to be sweet to'm & love'm. It was awkward for me & I felt jealous of them, but in most cases for the sample, I tried to be sweet to them, & I tried to act natural with them. What a terrible example it would have been if I hadn't! I was a bad example in a few cases & they could probably tell, since a lot of people are very sensitive to others' feelings, but at least most of the time they knew I was trying to be sweet & I was doing what I could. So even if you can't get the victory completely, you can still be sweet & kind & loving & not be mean or selfish about it. Even though in your heart you may feel that way, by your actions you can still do what you should & act the way you know you should.
       18. I THINK A LOT OF RELATIONSHIPS IN THE FAMILY PROBABLY RUN THIS WAY BECAUSE THEY HAVEN'T QUITE GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE EVERYBODY CAN BE TOTALLY HONEST & OPEN & really discuss it all together & really help each other all together & feel sympathy for each other. But the ideal, the goal to strive for, is for everybody to be honest & everybody be so in love with each other that you share & you act naturally & you're honest & open about your problems.
       19. OF COURSE YOU HAVE TO JUDGE EACH CASE ACCORDING TO THOSE INVOLVED. Perhaps when one of those involved is so much younger in the Lord, then to open your whole lives & all your past to them in every respect, might be a bit like opening "Pandora's Box," it might be too much for them.--Not only are they not prepared & mature enough to take all the problems, but it could give them something they could hold over the others' heads to get things to go their way. The younger & weaker one could say, "Why should we do things the way you say, you have so many problems & I'm not as bad as you" & so on & so forth. So it's not always wise to let everybody know all your problems & your sins & your feelings & your past mistakes & everything, especially if they are a bit weak.
       20. BUT IF THOSE INVOLVED ARE FAIRLY STRONG & IT'S FOR THE SAKE OF GETTING FURTHER VICTORIES TOGETHER, then I think it's better to be honest & to take the risk than not to. But again, every problem & every case has to be judged on, "Is it going to bear good fruit? Is it going to be more beneficial than detrimental? Is it going to be more of an asset than a detriment?"
       21. I THINK THAT'S SUCH AN IMPORTANT POINT, THAT WHENEVER PEOPLE HAVE A DECISION TO MAKE THEY'VE GOT TO DECIDE WHETHER IT'S GOING TO BEAR GOOD FRUIT OR BAD FRUIT. Maybe it's going to bear both good fruit & bad fruit, maybe it's going to really help one person but it's going to hurt someone else, so you've got to decide what's going to bear the best fruit. Is it going to bear more good fruit than bad fruit? Most decisions aren't all that clear cut; it's not either going to be all bad or all good, it's usually a little of both.
       22. IT'S LIKE WHEN WE WERE TRYING TO DECIDE WHICH SECRETARY WE WOULD HAVE JOIN OUR STAFF. It was quite difficult to decide because it wasn't that one was bad & the other was good, they both had such good points & they both had some drawbacks. We had to decide what was going to bear the best fruit, which one was most needed here & which was most needed where they were. When there is a choice like that, it becomes difficult to make decisions & you have to really pray about what will bring the best results. If it's a clear black & white question, then you don't have any problem, you pretty much know what to decide. But it's difficult to make all these other decisions where we have to weigh the consequences & see that maybe it's good in this respect, but it's bad in that respect, it's good in one thing, but it's bad in another. Then we have to balance them & decide which is best & what's going to bear the best fruit.
       23. YOU HAVE TO USE REAL WISDOM & JUDGE EACH CASE ON ITS OWN MERITS! When people can't take it, & they can't all be honest & talk together, then maybe it's best that they don't! If it's too much for them to understand that one of the people involved is a little hurt & a little jealous, & when they find that out they're going to say, "I can't stand to hurt so & so, forget the whole thing," then it's probably best not to tell them. You certainly don't want to force everyone to be that honest & open to the point that some can't take it & they leave, or they get completely out of the victory & completely down where they're no good to the Lord.
       24. HONESTY IS A MEANS TO AN END, NOT A MEANS IN ITSELF. We don't want to be honest & open just to be honest & open, we want to be honest & open for a reason--in order to help us bear good fruit in ours & others' lives! Honesty & sharing is to get us somewhere, to some goal! We're not supposed to be honest just because it's the Family way & we all are supposed to be honest, we're all supposed to share, & if you're not honest in everything & you don't share in everything then you've failed! What if everybody's honest & shares & then it causes some people to backslide?--Then your honesty & your sharing was wrong because it caused your brother to stumble! Of course everybody stumbles a little, but I mean to really stumble, to fall, & maybe backslide or have such a big problem with it to the point they become useless to the Lord!
       25. LET'S FACE IT, SOME PEOPLE ARE WEAK! Maybe they'll be stronger later, but they're weak now & no matter what they do or you do, they're probably not going to get too much stronger, at least not right now! Some people are just weak in a certain point in their life & nothing you can do is going to help them to be too much stronger. But thank the Lord, they're with us, they're in the Family, they're serving the Lord, & they're doing the best they can. So if they can't take a threesome where they all have to sleep together in the same bed, then so what! I can't really take that very well either!
       26. IF I GOT SO JEALOUS THAT I COULDN'T STAND TO BE IN BED WITH DAD WHEN HE'S MAKING LOVE TO SOMEBODY ELSE, & I COULDN'T GET A VICTORY OVER IT, THEN I'D GET UP & GO OUT OF THE ROOM & DO SOMETHING ELSE. I think it's best to get a victory & be able to share all together & love each other all together & to be glad someone else is getting the attention & the love & to help them on with it & encourage them. But if I can't do this, then it's better for me to just leave & have the victory instead of staying there & not having the victory. Even though the ideal is that I should be able to share & I should be able to encourage Dad in making love to another person, but if I can't, instead of staying there & getting all down in the dumps & not being able to get a victory over it & getting really out of the victory & having all kinds of problems about it, why don't I get out & do something else or go be with somebody else or do some work or something? Do you see the point? The Lord is merciful & doesn't require more of us than we can give.
       27. TO BE HONEST & OPEN & COMPLETELY SHARING ALL IS THE IDEAL, BUT IF WE CAN'T COME UP TO THE IDEAL THEN WE DON'T HAVE TO JUST QUIT & GIVE UP & FAIL, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO DO THE SECOND BEST! Do something else! Go be with somebody else, get your mind off it! Of course, it would be best if you could be all together & share because you'd be getting more of a victory over your jealousy than just going & getting your mind on somebody else & getting out of that situation, but if you're not going to get the victory, my goodness, don't just stay there & get worse & worse & more down all the time. Perhaps some day you will reach that goal.--Keep trying!--But in the meantime at least get a second-rate victory by going & reading the Word, being with somebody else or going & doing your work, or whatever you need to do to get your mind off it! Don't just sit there not getting a victory & suffer through just because you think you're supposed to get a victory & you're supposed to stay there to the bitter end, get out & do something else! Maybe this falls under the category of "the Lord will not suffer us to be tempted above that we are able, but will with the temptation also make a way of escape that we may be able to bear it." (1Cor.10:13)
       28. I'D RATHER HAVE HALF A VICTORY & be halfway able to function than to just sit around & suffer & cave in when I see I'm not getting a victory anyway. When I say to go do something else, I'm not suggesting that people leave each other & permanently separate, the thing that I'm saying is that if you can't all sleep in the same bed & all enjoy it & be happy together & share, then rotate, one night with one person, one night the other person!--Or schedule it, two or three nights with the new partner, four or five with the first one. Personally, I think it's usually better that way, anyway. Why should you suffer night after night just because you can't get the victory, when you could just be rotating & taking turns & having a much easier time?
       29. I REMEMBER THAT ONE LEADERSHIP THREESOME WERE ALL SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED. Things were pretty rough between them as they were so jealous of each other, so I said, "I don't think that's a very good idea, I think it would be better if you rotated."
       30. I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD DEMAND THAT THE WOMEN SACRIFICE ALL THEIR PERSONAL TIME WITH THEIR HUSBAND TO MAKE IT A PUBLIC AFFAIR EVERY NIGHT! There are some things that you want to say to one person, & no matter how close you are, you can't always say it to two people, even if all of you are married together. Maybe that's a little bit of selfishness on my part, but that's the way I feel about it. I just think that no matter how nice a time a threesome can have together & how close they are, they still sometimes need time alone, one with one.
       31. LOOK AT THE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CHURCH & THE LORD, we're all needed & we're all members of the same body, & we're all the Lord's Bride, we're all married to the same husband, but there's still a personal relationship between you & the Lord that doesn't include a lot of other people. Your personal private relationship with the Lord is one-on-one. There's a time when we have group fellowship with the Lord, when we get together & pray & praise, but you also have a time of private fellowship with Him when you pour your heart out to Him & have personal loving fellowship with Him.
       32. I DON'T REALLY THINK THAT IN THESE THREESOME RELATIONSHIPS THAT SEX & FELLOWSHIP TIME SHOULD ALWAYS BE A GROUP AFFAIR. We're so fallible & so weak & there are things we want to say to one person, but it's a little hard to say it to two people without hurting one or the other. There are things you want to talk about that perhaps ideally should be said to everybody & everybody should understand & be one wife, but it just seems to me that it's a lot harder for most people to talk to two people than it is to talk to one person. Maybe it shouldn't be, but I think it is. It just seems like it's asking a little too much not to have some private one-on-one time, & to demand that you always be together in a threesome.
       33. THE THREESOMES IN OUR FAMILY AT PRESENT ARE MOSTLY ONE MAN & TWO WOMEN. A lot of times the first wife is much older in the Lord & more mature & has had much more experience in leadership & personnel problems & things. If you bring a younger person in & you open up everything to them, all your past failures & all your past problems & everybody else's problems, they quite possibly might be adversely affected by it. It seems that many of our Family threesomes involve leadership couples who take on a new, younger mate. The new mate is usually someone that's been in the Family a lot less time, that was either fished in or maybe was a childcare worker that hasn't been in so long. In comparison to you, they are babes, so do you think it is wise to take them into your complete confidence & to discuss everything with them, including your first mate's problems & your most private affairs?
       34. WHAT IF THE TWO OLDER MATES WANT TO DISCUSS THE YOUNGER MATE? When are they going to do it? If they've set up a precedent that they all have to share equally in everything & then the younger mate sees them in the corner somewhere having a little tête-à-tête, what is the younger mate going to think? So I just think there are some times when you have things to discuss with people that you can't necessarily discuss with others, even if you're a threesome! I think that some things have to be private, just one-on-one! It's not always wise to open up everything to everybody, & that holds true even in a threesome!
       35. MAYBE IF ALL THREE ARE LEADERS & THEY'VE ALL BEEN IN THE FAMILY EQUAL TIME, & THEY LOVE EACH OTHER & THEY ALL WANT TO SPEND EVERY NIGHT TOGETHER IN THE SAME BED,WELL, I'D SAY THAT WOULD BE DIFFERENT. But you'd have to be pretty sure that all three of them felt the same way! But I don't think there are too many relationships where they would all desire this. I would say that the alternating schedule is best. Of course, maybe that doesn't bring the other two mates close to each other if they're not sometimes sleeping all together, so maybe once in awhile you do need those times. If the two other mates constantly work very closely together, that might be enough to bring them together closely. In some cases being in bed together really is one of the best ways to bring you all lovingly together & break down the walls, especially if the mates don't work together constantly all the time. But for the most part, considering our situations & considering our faults & failings & problems, I think the alternating schedule may be a better, wiser choice than to have everybody all in the same bed all the time. Practically speaking, there aren't a lot of beds that will accommodate three or four people every night. Of course, you could put a couple of big beds together, but then you usually have babies & children in the room too, so it gets a little rough trying to do it all together.
       36. BESIDES WHICH, IT'S RATHER DIFFICULT TO MAKE LOVE TO TWO PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME! You have two arms, but you can't really concentrate on both of them at the same time, so then either they both felt like they didn't get enough attention, or one felt one got the attention & the other felt left out at the time. Of course, once in awhile, for a special occasion, it's probably a good idea to love up all together! But most of the time it's probably enough to just read all together or relax together, but why do you have to always sleep together?
       37. I'VE SAID THAT TO SOME PEOPLE WHO'VE HAD TO SLEEP ALONE SOMETIMES, "WELL, IT SHOULDN'T MATTER SINCE YOU'RE ASLEEP & AREN'T EVEN AWARE IF SOMEONE IS THERE OR NOT." The main reason you go to bed is to go to sleep! If you want to make love beforehand, fine, but why do you have to sleep with them? I'm not promoting it one way or the other, but if the situation isn't conducive to sleeping together, then just have some fellowship before you go to bed & then don't sleep together. Most people usually sleep through the night, so why do you always need to have someone in bed with you? People may like to have someone there if they can, in case they wake up or in case they need some help in the night, but for the most part it's not necessary as you're going to be sleeping most of the night anyway. The partner without anyone for the night could sleep with the children, perhaps. So it seems that in most cases it might be easiest on everyone to have an alternating schedule in order to avoid hurt feelings, even though perhaps the ideal is that you can all love each other so much that there are no hurt or jealous feelings between you.
       38. THE VERY IDEAL WOULD BE IF EVERYBODY COULD LOVE EACH OTHER, BE OPEN & HONEST ENOUGH WITH EACH OTHER & NOBODY HAVE ANY HURT FEELINGS, nobody feel awkward, everybody feel loved enough & everybody be so happy together. But I don't know if we've even heard of one relationship that can function like that yet, if they're really honest. Maybe! I hope so, because I think it is possible, but it's not very probable. But at least it's a goal we could try to reach, something to aim for.
       39. MAYBE THERE ARE SOME, BUT WE HAVEN'T HEARD A LOT OF POSITIVE TESTIMONIES OF THREESOMES, & THE ONES WE HAVE HEARD ABOUT USUALLY HAD A PROBLEM BEING TOGETHER ALL THE TIME, because you're bound to have more feelings or love for one person than the other, or at least the other person's apt to think you do. Either it is a definite problem or it's an imagined problem. You've got three people, so certainly one person out of the three is probably going to be weaker & be having some problems over something, or maybe two have problems or maybe even all three of them, you never know. The more people you have, the more it multiplies your problems.
       40. SO MY POINT IS, DON'T JUST GIVE UP & DROP OUT OF THE FAMILY & BACKSLIDE, FIND SOME OTHER SOLUTION, A SECOND BEST! If you can't get a complete victory, have a partial victory! Be happy you got a partial victory! If you can't get a complete victory over jealousy, be glad you have the victory sometimes & praise the Lord for that & just try to make the situation accommodate what you can take & what you can stand! The Lord's merciful, He says He doesn't give us more than we can bear, so if you can't take something, the Lord's usually not going to make you take it. There may be some cases when you need to & you should be able to & you can if you really try, but you just think you can't!
       41. I JUST DON'T THINK THAT WE HAVE TO REQUIRE EVERYBODY TO BE HONEST & OPEN & ALL TOGETHER ALL THE TIME & ALWAYS SHARING EVERYTHING AMONGST ALL THREE OF THEM, BECAUSE IT DOESN'T USUALLY WORK. You've usually got some that are more mature in the Lord & you've got others that are weaker & can't take certain things. It's hard enough for two people to be honest & open & get along, but if you bring a third one on the scene then you've multiplied many times over all your different possible sets of problems & trials & things.
       42. SO ALTHOUGH THE IDEAL, THE THING WE SHOULD STRIVE FOR, IS THAT WE ALL CAN BE TOTALLY HONEST & TOTALLY OPEN & TOTALLY HAPPY & ALL LOVE ONE ANOTHER WITH THE LORD'S LOVE & that there be no feelings of jealousy or sensitivity or awkwardness, we may not be able to attain the goal, at least not yet. But we should try! On the other hand, we all have our weaknesses & we need to take this into account & not feel that we've failed if we still have some problems along this line. When you're climbing a mountain, you're not instantly on the top, you have to progress upward one step at a time, you have to clear each obstacle one at a time, so even if you're having troubles & trials, keep forging ahead! Keep trying to gain victories, even if it's only a half victory, at least you're progressing! At least you're still fighting! Don't give up! Don't get discouraged! Keep busy for the Lord & His Work & trust Him to help you gain all the victories you need!

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