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Posted by on July 02, 2010 at 11:29:00
In Reply to: Re: Yes, please do posted by Coordinator on July 02, 2010 at 07:23:00:
Although, my mother left the church when I was about 10 years old I continued to go on and off until I was 21. I was convinced that she was the devil for leaving. In retrospect I know that not to be true. Anyways, when I turned 18 I left home to be with the church full time. I moved in with my grandmother who was still a member and everything seemed fine for a while.
About a year later my grandmother had to move to another town because of her failing health and she was going to take me with her. She didn't tell me that she planned a move much less that I was going too. I was upset that we were going away because I knew that I wouldn't be able to attend church.
So, I and another relative planned a move of our own. I was going to move in with another church member when my grandmother moved away. I was so naive and head strong I thought that I knew everything.
At first the people I was staying with seemed as if they were so happy to have me. Their whole family lived together which included the grandmother, two daughters, and the four children they had between the two. The fathers of the children did not live there.
Well it didn’t take long for my new roommates to start the abuse. The grandma was the ring leader and her children and grandchildren were her little spies. I remember one night that she openly called me names and citied me in front of her whole family for something that I could not control. It was embarrassing and humiliating all at the same time. She watched every move that I made and everyone that I talked to at church and in the "worldly" world. She called me names on a regular basis that she did not call her children or grandchildren. She accused me of stealing her silverware among other things.
She asked me to find a job but when I did she would say that the job was not right for me and that I should find something else. At the same time she would criticize me for not contributing money and not trying hard enough to find a job. I was so confused to say the least. I was also criticized for not cleaning up after a family of seven on a regular basis. Towards the end of my stay with them I was humiliated and degraded on a regular basis so much so that I had trouble exhibiting confidence in any job interview I attended. I suppose the thing that upset her most is when she asked me where a certain church member lived and I pretended like I didn't know. The church member told her that I knew where she lived even though she asked me not to tell them.
I am sure that she suffered the same abuse from them that I did when she lived with them as a teen but I guess she was too afraid to lie to them.
That must have convinced her that I was the devil and she had all my things waiting for me in the front room along with my bed so that I could sleep out in the open instead of having the privacy of a bedroom.
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