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In Reply to: Re: Times...lifesections and ageing posted by Farmer on January 29, 2009 at 18:14:21:
As far as my family goes, I never could reconcile with my parents and siblings. I have a brother and a sister but don't know where they live. My father was terminally ill when I left home as a teen, having cancer of the digestive system which was so wide spread they operated for hrs and then sewed him up because they couldn't take anything else out. My mother died in 95, but I very rarely saw her or talked to her because it was just too painful. Most of my grieving was over the losses of not having family that was close and safe. All families are dysfunctional to some degree, but some are pretty riddled with bad stuff. I'm glad yours was pretty peaceful.
I am sure it is hard to be at a time in your life when you have lost one parent and another is so sadly disabled. At the same time, it sounds like your home will soon be the "empty nest". So life continues to be full of so many changes.
I am close to my kids, though one of them is pretty distant at times, from his brothers or from me.
It's just the way he is. Not any unresolved anger or grief between us.
As far as moving on and grieving goes, when I couldn't reconcile things with family of origin, I was able to move on, but not without years of emotional grinding. There doesn't have to be a happy ending where all things are fixed between family of origin. It's nice when it happens I am sure.
The upside of not being close:
When my parents died, I grieved the relationship I imagined a kid would want with a parent, but the people themselves, I did not miss. I missed a friend's mother and was very sad when just before leaving the family and coming back to America, I realized she had died. I really would have liked to have seen her before that happened. She was like a mother to me when I was growing up.
As far as religion goes in my life, I have none. I feel at peace with that. I guess it makes me sorta "Zen"? I don't see myself as Buddhist or Christian or fully atheist. I suppose agnostic fits best. I know there is something beyond what science has been able to tack down. I wonder what people will know a hundred years from now!
The songs you linked were beautiful. I'm not religious but I can appreciate nice voices.
Thanks for the photos of your home town. It looks so beautiful! I love the older, smaller towns. If I ever make it to visit Germany before I get too old and tired, can I swing by for a visit?
