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In Reply to: Re: clarifications desired, but possible?? posted by Jo on January 28, 2009 at 16:49:10:
Dear Jo...lots came to my mind upon your post...may be I can put some orderly to "electronic paper"...before you're "gone again" : (
What I appreciated lots about you: your not pulling punches about not lumping all the FGAs in one pot...I remember the time, when Jules - couragious as she is - posted here & the exchange was here & there "fiery"...or whatever is the right word...I admired your stance, also, since you & also Thinker & whoever else had quite a "challenging"/damagecausing childhood, I think that weighs manifold, what you have to say.I had pretty much a nice, serene, good postwar childhood & there are rare times, where I get a little glimpse not only visually but from the feeling...how innocent my childhood was...I know, that the SGAs and many FGAs didn't have necessarily that fortune....that emotional debt weighs heavily on people's shoulders...
Just this week I saw a little documentary about a 29 year old woman in Germany who was given into adoption by some catholic organisation in Columbia at the age of 12/13 I think...coming into the family of Italians, living in Germany.Her big quest was to find out, why her mother has "deserted" her, why she was in an orphanage etc....she only could get reconciled by travelling to Columbia, following all the documents & traces....& finally she made up with her mother...I've seen many moving biographies like that...they are hearttearing.
Similar problems children develop, if one parent divorces & moves far away...usually the child thinks, that they have done something wrong....pitiful...I saw something along the line recently again....solution: talking about the hurt the seperation caused, more communication & the parent explaining, that it was none of the children's fault...
But as beautiful as these stories turn out...it makes you wonder, how do abused children find reconciliation?I haven't yet seen any reportage about that...sad to say...so in a way one is paining also with that knowledge with the victims, as you wished there'd be a good way.
So I hope, that things went well also in your immediate, close family...meaning parents etc....My father died already 10 years back & my mother is after a stroke bedridden in an Old folks-home...she doesn't recognise anyone anymore...it's a disastrous sight...
This makes you think about the future, what care would be there for oneself, but also the costs...In my mothers case her own savings & pension covers about it plus the insurance...I wouldn't want to be a burden for my relatives (children) either
I also hope, that I didn't give you too much trouble in the past, as I am so adamant about certain things...but I always liked you, the way you gave a heart, an emotional angel to your posts.Thanks again.
Right now I work less/short time...due to the crisis...get less money, but having more time
I go to a free church since about 9 years...also to have some christian contacts for my kids, besides the pretty wordly surrounding in highschool & elsewhere & got to like & love it...lots of young & bigger families...missionfield-minded...like sending studied doctors etc. to the missionfield.
I have my different takes, but that's part of life...
After I gained too much weight...108kg for 189cm...I took some "measurements" 3 years back...extra biking (American Carbon race bicycle brand "specialised", used via ebay)...lots of jogging and in the meantime I manage the half marathon distance in acceptable times...dream would be to settle sometime below the 90kg mark...but I am not in a hurry...there are other equally/more important things.
In German you call it "Den Zahn der Zeit"...the tooth of time chewing you off here and there...would be a good thread again:health & what to do...had since years a tinnitus-problem....I am a bit of a control/information-freak & it took me takes me time, to let go of things not needed in life...I gues my stance was/is: since personal prophecies were totally off the mark...the good...I took refuge in information...has it's place, but doesn't give warmth, love, peace...what a child gets...I need to be more again after simplicity.
My son studies meanwhile...daughter is waiting for a place at the uni & the youngest still on highschool
I realise, that I am more & more of a single again...not so needed anymore of my dear ones...I wanted them to get a good start...as much as was possible...also mostly due to my dear parents.
So far I have had since 15 years no contact to Exers anymore...a few emailexchanges with Erika...see below on the board
Germany is economically still somewhat sound...but I think there is a winddown & I sensed already in the beginning of last year...spiritually it has been always a drag ; ) kind of serious & kidding....pls keep posting
Some "Germanic info" :
Here's the town I live:
Some songs you might like??...may be
Florence Joy mein Ziel
Kann es noch kaum greifen
Noch ist nicht alles klar
Ich bin auf einer Reise
und bin noch nicht ganz da
Ich bin noch nicht –ich werde
Noch ist hier nichts perfekt
Ich bin auf der Suche
- du hast mich entdeckt
Und ich lauf soweit ich kann
Seh` soweit ich will
denn der Himmel steht mir offen
weil ich Himmel in mir fühl
Du bist mein Ziel –meine Leidenschaft
Du bist mein Weg –Du bist meine Kraft
Ich suche dich –lauf auf dich zu
Lass alles hinter mir, Du bist hier
Du bist mein Ziel
Ich verstehe Deine Wege
Mit mir - nur im Blick zurück
aber Leben muß man vorwärts gehen
du gehst leise mit
Und ich steck mir neue Ziele
Voller Leidenschaft
Was gestern war –das stört nicht mehr
Gott, gib mir Dir die Kraft
Und ich lauf soweit ich kann
Seh` soweit ich will
denn der Himmel steht mir offen
weil ich Himmel in mir fühl
Du bist mein Ziel –meine Leidenschaft
Du bist mein Weg –Du bist meine Kraft
Ich suche dich –lauf auf dich zu
Lass alles hinter mir, Du bist hier
Du bist mein Ziel
Ich hebe die Augen auf...
Old song....the way they "used to be"
