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In Reply to: Re: Spanking little kids posted by James on November 08, 2008 at 08:06:04:
And what exactly is the big difference between a swat and a spank? Is a swat where you use a switch or the handle of a fly swatter, or where you smack a child's hand with yours? How is that so different from whacking a child's butt so as to inflict pain and bully them into submission?
Why try to force issues one way or another, why does it have to be either/or extremes: if you can't swat children freely are there are no other options than to let the governent have them and hope for the best? What a crock. I can see why you would want to hit your children.
Parents who resort to swatting or spanking do so because they do NOT have reasoning abilities and the emotional tools needed for dealing with conflict. And they are only passing on their handicap to their own children, by zapping their brain circuits with pain, preventing them from developing the emotional tools and social skills needed for conflict resolution. Once pain and violence is brought into the picture, it overrides the natural learning process and development of true conscience. Recipients of intenionally-inficted pain enter into an assault-survival mode, even if a mild one. Whatever they are going through from then has little to do with learning the "lesson," and is more about dealing with the fact that you have purposely hurt them. Think "betrayal."
There really are very good methods for reasoning with a child, if you bother to look them up and try them. I've seen them work.
And actually, it IS the job of government (or community) to educate people regarding parenting skills and the raising of children, and to set up laws against violence on children and to see to it that parents do not break these laws. It is also the role of the community to create a violence-free environment for children and to provide resources and a support system for families to raise children without frustration and violence-inducing stress. There is a cliché that some people ought to be tested and licensed for parenthood just like tests and licenses are required for driving, I've found it to be true, all too often.
