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In Reply to: Re: Spanking little kids posted by CB on November 10, 2008 at 12:01:03:
CB is right. Tantrums are mainly because a child at that age does not understand concepts and language enough to process the information, they are still learning, and so the frustration is not 'naughty' it's a reaction of emotion and anger that can't be communicated any other way. Redirection really does work (I work with kids) and taking away attention/leaving the child so they don't have an audience is much more effective. Hitting only causes pain, not an understanding for the child. When they've calmed down (and no doubt the parent as well) is the time to explain it to the child. They might not get the explanation the first time, but with consistency they begin to comprehend things. It's no excuse to use force simply because 'you can't reason with a 3 year old'. You have to start somewhere, and what has been proven in studies is that parents who use explanation and reason over hitting and physical punishment have children who develop earlier their higher functions of the brain and eventually will behave or cooperate because they understand the reasons why, and not because they are afriad of being hurt. If you impose the fear response, you are not setting up that child to self regulate themselves, which is what you want, for them to make the right decisions even when there is no authority figure around to 'keep them in line.'
