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In Reply to: Re: Spanking little kids posted by James on November 08, 2008 at 08:06:04:
Show me evidence that hitting a toddler during a tantrum will calm the kid down faster than redirecting the energy. Redirection isn't the same as trying to reason with a toddler.
Redirection, in the case of my granddaughter, is saying something like this: "You have five minutes to get this out of your system. When you are ready to get in bed for your nap, I will read you a story to help you fall asleep."
Then walk away and find something else to do for five minutes. Leave her to stew in her own juice and think about how it might be more fun to read a book.
I know what I'm talking about because I've worked with emotionally disturbed kids who are IMPOSSIBLE to reason with. Redirection doesn't always work smoothly, but works well enough to recommend it as the primary approach. If the kid doesn't calm down on her own under the directive she was given, rather than hitting, I would put him/her in a basket-hold and keep her in that position until she calmed down and started breathing normally. This isn't a fun thing to do, but it beats the loss of control and emotional escalation that could occur if I were to strike out at an angry, out-of-control child. I would probably have put my granddaughter in a basket-hold before letting her escalate into 30 minutes of screaming (if, indeed, that is how long the tantrum actually went on--my son tends to exaggerate).
Yes, it is possible to loose patience and whack the kid. As long as the parent doesn't lose control of the strike force--in other words--pays attention to how the kid is reacting to the whacking and backs off after a few blows--then it's not the worst possible thing that could happen. But what if the whacking results in the kid becoming even more hysterical? Should the parent keep whacking until the kid stops crying? I think that was the advice given to parents in TF, wasn't it?
