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In Reply to: Re: Ive forgotten my exfam name! ha posted by Jules (Jewlz) on October 21, 2008 at 20:55:00:
(Hi Jules. Nice to see you here again.)
"revenge is not an issue with me anymore & i honestly have no other agenda"
Sounds to me like you've already done what's necessary to be able to, like you say, show how you can forgive.
I won't try to define forgiveness but I can speak in the first person a bit about my own experience:
For me, if I don't want revenge and any anger I still have is at least under control, then I can tell someone that I forgive them, along with expressing an I'm sorry for mistakes I also made.
The part about admitting that I made mistakes usually helps make it more effective, if I can do that in a free-spirited way without too much inner conflict or turmoil. It makes "showing forgiveness" and that I want something to change for the better between me and the other person easier. (It's hard to avoid feeling conflicted when it's the other person who is the one who's to blame, so I remind myself that I'm not perfect and I've made my share of mistakes along with the rest of the human race.)
You want to do it for your son, for yourself too, so I say just go for it, if it doesn't work at least you know you tried.
