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In Reply to: Re: Public vs. private posted by Coordinator on September 21, 2007 at 12:45:04:
I have just reread my posts here, trying to see if I somehow came across as to adversarial. I may be blind to my own prejudices, but I honestly believe my posts were respectful, polite, and seeking clarity. I cannot quite understand why my questions would be categorized as "fuss". If I in someway came across wrong, please forgive me.
Although I still feel that the issues I was trying to clarify are not getting across clearly for some reason, I accept now that your position is in fact pretty firmly established. (Please correct me if I am wrong.) If I were in the shoes of the family in question, I would feel like I was faced with a difficult dilemma. On the one hand, I would be deeply troubled by my past in the cult, and desire to apologize and make it crystal clear that I understand the tremendously harmful outcomes of the teachings and practices of TFI, as well as my personal role in them.
On the other hand, I would have to balance the damage that would undoubtedly multiply upon my own children,(unless google protection could in some way be established) as they seek to rebuild their lives, with as much parental help as possible.
It is a difficult decision. I do not know a single exmember who would voluntarily fully disclose their past to potential employers or landlords, or anyone else who might be an important part along the path of helping my kids towards a better life. It might be percieved by a distant reader on the internet as integrity. My guess is if it left my kids in a trailer on foodstamps they may think differently.
It is a difficult dilemma. But for me the central issue is the unintended collateral damage to the SG's. Is the inclusion of searchable tags of repentant exmembers a principle of greater weight than the wellbeing of any group of SG's who are unfortunately saddled with their parents errors, sins, or crimes which they have not only renounced, but WANT to publicly apologize for if they can find a way to do so without further damaging their children's lives?
By the way, I did take the time to reread your site's mission statement. I found all three points something to be admired. But it did seem to me that point #3 was unfortunately being sidelined in this matter. I think all three points can be successfully pursued without compromising any point there with a little more effort to clear up the challenges.
Of course I do not volunteer on website coordinator boards. All I can include is my best wishes for all to find healthy healing ways forward, and that TFI and its active leadership will in someway be relieved of their duties soon.
