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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #29781

Re: points that can make a difference

Posted by Xman on September 05, 2007 at 09:36:39

In Reply to: Re: points that can make a difference posted by Need for clarity on September 05, 2007 at 08:05:40:

To comment on Need for clarity's comments, I think these were some valid angles of looking at the subject. I believe that it's probably going to be impossible to completely & evenhandedly meet out "justice" under such a complex situation were there were so many varying degrees of involvement, responsibility, & severity, where in essence every adult bears responsibility of what happened to some extent.
But on the other hand, we are talking about a very large group & a very high percentage of which did "cross the line". So given this backdrop, if our intent is truly justice, I believe that in some ways we have to give "amnesty" of sorts to FGAs for simply being generally involved. Beyond that, there were a select number, some top leaders & others not, who were genuinely abusive, harsh, unreasonable, & propogated this behaviour actively themselves by their actions & repeat offenses causing untold harm.
Having been victims ourselves as SGAs, especially those of us born in the late 60's & early 70's a.k.a. "guinea pigs", I think the last thing we want to do is prolong the pain for others who themselves are trying to make the break, even if they happen to be FGAs.
I also agree that just being a "Leader" is not criteria, or one-&-the-same as being an abuser. Having had my fair share of run ins with Leadership (I can guarantee there are leaders who will never forget me nor me them) I think I speak for most SGAs when I say that there were all kinds, & some who just thinking about them turns your stomach,& others that even covered for you becuase they themselves were struggling with making sense of things.
I also truly believe that for the most part FGAs who sincerely detest their previous lives who have "seen the light" & genuinely want to make atonement with anyone from the second generation, would gladly, given the oppotunity, appologize to any SGA who their involvement in the cult may have hurt. It is the true "hard core" abusers who you will never see offerring any heartfelt apologies, because many of them don't feel they have done anything wrong. These are the ones who should feel the brunt of our anger, but sadly for the most part they stand by a let all the FGAs be their "whipping boys".