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In Reply to: Re: Fidelity posted by Zither on April 12, 2006 at 12:20:39:
Interesting about cheating. That's an issue I haven't dealt with or faced, I don't know how I'd feel about it unless it came up in my marriage.
We got together while in the group, and my husband hasn't gone outside of our marriage for anything, so he has been faithful to me for over 11 years. I on the other hand had one short relationship during our marriage, and at the time, I had just gone to FM status, so I didn't view it as 'cheating', it was just what I grew up with, what I had been involved in, I'd had relationships with married men while in the group, and it was never considered 'cheating'.
Now, 5 years later, I don't know how I'd feel about it. I know that it's wrong, and I think if I found out he was having an affair or something, it'd disturb me, and I don't think that I'd engage in one myself, I don't think it would be good for our relationship or my kids, and I'm not comfortable with it. But since I haven't been actually faced with the situation, I haven't taken the time to work out my own beliefs on it.
At this point I'm leaning towards no, it's not right and not what I want either myself or my husband to be involved in, and under no conditions do I want to expose my kids to it.
But we (I) was raised in a totally different environment than my kids, I WAS exposed to it, and understood and accepted it because I had been taught it was right and normal, and god-given. But my kids haven't, so I wouldn't want to open them up to it. And it just seems a bit lewd or loose, or perverted, me having sex or an affair with other guys, or vice-versa.
So, if it were to happen, it'd be totally secretive, mostly to shield my kids. But I'm not the type of person to be secretive or hide things, so I think it just wouldn't happen. Nor do I want to open myself up to all the emotions that would come with an affair, on both sides, my husband's and my own. We are different people from who we were 5 years ago, with different beliefs.
I think I've just talked myself into a firm no, 'cheating' or affairs outside our marriage would not be allowed in our relationship, hehe!
