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In Reply to: ignorant statement posted by Karen on December 10, 2005 at 07:29:52:
First, I wanted to thank you and other posters here for all the support. Next I wanted to say that I know what the family did to people put in leadership positions and decisions as the one you are talking about were passed down. If I were the person you are talking about I would tell you that means a lot to me and I would certainly forgive you. I would do that because I know it takes a lot to say what you did, and also I realize that had our positions been reversed (if I had been that Bulgarian woman and I was the leader and you were the mother with a child, being separated, sent out) I could just as easily have been the leader that sent you out. That was the nature of the beast.
Strict obedience was demanded. Decisions were counselled about with higher ups, on up the chain of command. Fear ruled. We made decisions against our conscience, imo, because we believed our conscience to be of the devil if it contradicted leadership above us or what someone in a leadership position thought "God" told them in prayer regardless of who might be hurt. There were serious and long lasting effects of that separation I had from my son and many other separations that occurred within my family in THE FAMILY.
I believe that the people who have a conscience and who ordered these things are as deserving of support because it is not easy to live with knowing you have hurt someone while in the family. It takes a lot out of you. Just as it takes a lot out of the person it happened to. I think we all had things that happened to us or that we were a part of to some degree that we feel bad about having been in that cult.
I was thinking about how people say "How could you see ________(fill in the blank bad stuff) happen and not do anything about it?" Those of us who have been there and gotten help regarding our past know now how it happens.
I mentioned some things I saw. Most everybody saw the Davidito book. Why didn't we go to authorities? In hindsight it is easy to feel bad about ever having been associated to TF and wonder ourselves about it but then again we all understand having been there, or we are working on understanding it.
Karen, thanks so much for what you said. I hope what I said can be healing for/helpful to you too.
