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In Reply to: Re: You make me sick posted by Jim LaMattery on December 09, 2005 at 08:29:39:
Until now I have been one of the silent readers. From my silent point of view, Jim, it seems like every word said to you is falling on deaf ears. The old adage "there is none so blind as he who will not see" most definitely fits this picture.
You know, you might consider when so many people are telling you the same thing that there may be some truth to it. Of course, I expect this will fall on deaf ears as well as that seems to be your history. It would probably make all the difference in the world to everyone if they ever perceived you as, at the very least, attempting to TRY to understand where they are all coming from.
I think one of the meanest things you have said was what you just said to Jo - "Why in the world would you have remained in this group when they removed your children from your immediate care? That, in fact, never happened to my children while in TFI." How self-righteous of you. Don't you think she has tormented herself enough over the situation, and you are just adding a little more salt to the wound? You can blame it on your ex-wife all you want, but the fact is, the two of you were one flesh and you need to accept the responsibility of that as well. Are you just too proud to say to her, "I'm sorry. I know it was a terrible thing that happened to you and I feel bad that it happened. Please forgive me if I had any role whatsoever in it happening."? THAT WOULD MAKE YOU BELIEVABLE. Did you stand up to your wife and the other leadership and say to them, "I'm sorry but I don't agree. I think it's wrong to separate this woman's children, and I refuse to be a part of it"? That's a yes or no question. If you did not, then don't blame it all on Jo. You stood by and did nothing.
Just for the record, I am not blameless, either. I have had to do my share of apologizing to children and adults for things that happened under my care. Some things that I deeply regret happened over the years and talking about this here reminds me of yet another. When my husband and I were shepherds over a large home in Greece, we were instructed to send the nationals out on the road constantly while we ran the home with about 50 children in it. One of the single moms, and I can't remember her name now, but she had been going to school in Bulgaria to become a doctor before she joined the family, had a child who probably has some serious issues from being separated from her constantly. It breaks my heart when I think of it. I didn't say no to the ones who were telling us to send her out, and the poor child was a toddler and went through it so bad each time she left. If she is reading this, I am truly, truly sorry that I was a participant in doing that, and I hope that it stopped shortly after we left the Family. I know nothing can give you back that time, and for that I am very, very sorry.
