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In Reply to: Opinions posted by Jules on January 09, 2005 at 21:05:53:
I am simply tired of being told that my opinion is false and being dredged thru the grief of others that is not mine via blanket angry statements directed generally here and elsewhere against FG. Even though you may have stated, and or others have that some FGs are 'less guilty' than others I don't see the point in categorical condemnation. I have as much right to post my opinions and those of people who are professionally knowledgable of situations that are, or are similar to surviving cults. Your opinion seems to be the default opinion of your board and of many here. So that puts my "opinion" in the minority. That would hardly qualify me as a bully of any sort. My opinion is also one that many professionals take that work with survivors of domestic abuse, stockholm syndrome etc. It does in no way diminish the pain and grief of your generation neither does it justify what happened to many, BUT it does not diminish or disregard the pain of my generation.
How can YOU say that I demand anything out of anyone here? I am not on a high horse calling any shots and i don't have a shit list of people that disagree with me. Because I speak up when I hear blanket accusations does not make me "wrong" either.
On the other hand all i have to do is to look at the archives to see that time and again FG have been categorically blamed and shamed for what happened to second generation and I feel i have as much right to express my feelings about this, and the opinions of others who are professionals because suicides are not solely experienced by SG's. They are the fall out from the family top leadership's teachings and in some instances individuals who were perhaps recruited after pedophilia and prostitution were introduced and that was their attractant. Most FG were victims too. And there are many that did not survive either. And for those of us that did, many of us faced great hardships in getting out and getting on our feet and helping our family with little or no help from the outside.
My point is to say we are all exers here, many for years. Had you been someone new to the pain of getting out of the family and never having any therapy or help for yourself available, I would not be as straightforward.
And just as someone can point their finger and verbally assail a categorical generation, I can say why I feel like it is unhelpful.
How has your anger directed at FG exers in general helped you? I am not intimidated by you just because you are a "leader" or "spokesperson" or Vice prez. of an org or whatever you are. Neither are you a target of mine or a personal challenge. Your blanket condemnations that are minimized by some FG, however, are. I know I was very supportive to you until the issue of blanket condemnation occurred and that is where our perspectives parted and stayed parted since then.
At the same time I can respect that you are angry and that you have some general concerns but I can state what I feel about them when it gets condemning to all. To suggest that us FG are responsible for the suicides of SG is hurtful and not deserved by, imo, most exer fg that are posting. All the losses, the rapes, the batterings the camps, the combos, the problem case places and humiliation, retraining, abandonment etc are not exclusive to one generation. Neither are people that were recruited in their youth idiots unless they want to call themselves that. Then so be it. I won't argue with them.
