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In Reply to: Re: tough decisions/ what do u think SSam posted by kinda gentler on May 12, 2004 at 12:49:04:
Well, I think that the main reason I went back after over 2 years out was the overwhelming feeling that I was going to "die" out there, and that sort of thing. They made it easy for me to be "Singin' Sam" again, and that appealed to my ego as well as gave me a sense of belonging, whereas in the "world" I had just been a construction worker singing in bars for tips. I had hinged my identity on my image in the group, and wanted to be important and have a meaningful existence. That was a way to get it back, I thought. To be honest, I just wasn't thinking. In a way, it was the worst decision I ever made (going back) because it caused me to lose contact with my children and step children, alienated me from my family, and wasted a lot more years than I could afford. On the up side, I met my wife, and had 3 beautiful children with an opportunity to start over, and do it the right way, or at least not so bad. It was very difficult, not knowing anything about taxes, insurance, home buying, work force, and all that, not to mention the social repercussions, but that's negotiable for anyone who really wants it. Deep subject, very complicated, but glad I'm out for good.
