|
In Reply to: tough decisions posted by Passing By on May 12, 2004 at 07:58:51:
I find your post very concise. I do disagree with the last statement though regarding the seeming impossibility for FGs to change. I guess the main reason why is that there are a number who have left only recently and they are clearly no longer Family. For them, there is so much more to heal after such a long time in. I respect any that can get out at any time. And I know they can but that it IS harder. Most either never had outside support or lost it long ago. They have no sense of security. It is like being institutionalized in a prison as a lifer. The outside is very intimidating. I think it would be really helpful to have some articles by FGs that have left within the last 5 yrs and to hear about their struggles, how they found support, how they are dealing with the past, how they are adjusting with their families, or by being a family unit for the first time, making their own decisions.
Same with SGs. There were factors that caused some SGs to return after 911. It was not a weakness or fault in them. It was a trigger, a sort of PTSD reaction from all the fear factor tactics of the family and from a life not used to freedom that perhaps went in excess and got scared. Many that went back in will likely come back out, at least I hope so. I wonder if any FGs that left had trigger points where they considered going back in? Not because of what the family was about, but as a result of something like 911 and mideast crisis and family doctrines. Call it a temporary insantity that is reinforced with fake love and "forgiveness" from the family, only to realize later that they have been duped once more. It has happened before in the history of the family with FGs, like with "Watchman" and "Singing Sam" who were out for some time and then lured back in with a "we've changed" and a really loving cover message. That and the combination of perhaps not having felt like they were really fitting in yet on the outside because that takes time. What do you think, SSam?
