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In Reply to: free will and choice posted by AG on February 17, 2004 at 14:52:59:
Sorry AG but ya sound more like an AA guru here than a professional to me. That does not mean that in the context of a highly manipulative cult that we did not have some range of choice. But that range did not go outside of the family circle until something (or enough cumulative) drastic things happened to make it possible to get out. Only after getting out can a person look back, see the damage and the more damage they have done the more therapy and help they will need in order to come to terms with the horrible consequences that have occurred in that group at THEIR HANDS AND WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THEM ATH THE HANDS OF OTHERS. For myself, my experiences were primarily (and pretty severely) at the hands of others. But I cannot psychoanalyze or do a psychological profile of a person I have never met based on what they wrote, said or did in the family. When I talk about CHOICE, I am talking about CHOOSING to join the family. I didn't go looking at things life had to offer and say hmm, I wanna be a reporter, or a writer, and then went to college to pursue it. I was RECRUITED on the street as were most of us... either there or at a concert or a university campus or a beach gathering The family actively sought out recruits at places where youth gathered. There is a crucial difference here. Not to mention what the outward appearance and even early inward appearance was to youth at the time of our youth.
A person can be very RESPONSIBLE for any actions that have caused harm after coming to terms with what occurred in the Family to get them in that shape to do any or all of the things they did. Until this occurs, a person cannot adequately make amends.
As far as direct victims of sexual abuse or physical abuse goes with SG's, they have every right to pursue different current or ex members and slap them with a law suit or whatever they CHOOSE to do.
But when it comes to FGs in general, I would have to say that we were all categorically abused. There are so many different kinds of abuses. AND so many different kinds of losses to come to grips with. I don't think those losses can be discussed here enough either.
