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In Reply to: Re: Maybe stop meddling? posted by Joseph on February 07, 2004 at 21:03:58:
Yes, it started out with one thing, and it is now another thing. The dynamics have changed.
Some aspects of this issue were public, others were not, as Curious stated so from the beginning.
A public discussion where you speculate what is on someone's mind, and try to help speak on behalf of a friend one thing. That's in the discussable realm. When that person has taken the step of showing up and apologizing, and you're still in there chiming in predicting bandwidth overload, witch burning and "trashing" and "painted in a corner," I wonder where your boundaries are. I wonder what you gain from constantly trying to make us spend energy answering to you, when we should be settling things with Anneke when she's apologized.
Well, I see you didn't consider my request as reasonable, too bad. I would like to focus my time and energy on moving on, to processing and answering Anneke.
There is discussable and there is overbearing self-importance. You have to ask if it's really your place anymore, or if it's time to let your baby grow up, and let the reconciliation happen, if what you're saying is helpful anymore. Your efforts to bring about a dialog and reconciliation (assuming those were your motives in putting so much of your time in this) have reached critical mass, and you still don't know how to let go and let nature run its course.
Neither you nor Jane own this problem. It wasn't about you. She didn't ask Grant to sue you. You don't get to dictate what I should or shouldn't do. That's how your messing it up for the reconciliation process. I own my own reaction. If I accept or don't accept this based on something I share or don't make public, that is my prerogative. And from the oustide looking in, if you choose to speculate that it's due to a serious flaw in my character, that's yours. I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.
