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In Reply to: Re: This seems to be circular reasoning.. posted by AG on February 06, 2004 at 21:19:19:
Perhaps then, we dont agree that "the family's victims" are all of us? To varying degrees?
And all of us alive and moving on are survivors of that group. And there are some who have not managed to get out of it. Some that never will. I see the legally accountable as being a top few and a few individuals that are perps by their own nature. The rest, I see as victims and survivors. And yes, for each of us, it is beneficial to "make amends" or apologize for things we have done to harm others. Every human being has this to face, also to varying degrees. But every human being will not go thru with that process, either because they have no conscience, or they are very afraid and/or burnt out and then perhaps their amends are in the form of changing the way they do things.
By the way, what is your professional credentials? Are you a psychologist, masters social worker? Or what?
And when it comes to the victims of things that are hurtful, as in the matter of Anneke, reconciliation can only happen when both parties involved DIALOGUE. And both have to be willing.
My perpetrating parents went to their graves without ever reconciling or even desiring to, as far as I know. I have had to reconcile for myself when I was ready to. I hate what they did. But I could have killed myself hanging on so tightly to all that hate. In cases as with Zerb, Peter, Major offenders, some former victims may get some legal reconciliation. Or not. But their efforts to are certainly justified and understandable.
By the way, just to show how easy it is to misunderstand each other, you have obviously misunderstood me when I said that I would not want to be on your couch (as in counseling session with you) to have my mind molested (as in having one's brain picked or fucked with.)
