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In Reply to: Re: What did you see? posted by part of thecrime on November 27, 2003 at 14:03:21:
I was a dad and sometimes I was a teacher. I was also a fanatic dedicated follower of the person I thought to be the chosen end time prophet David. Berg taught me that being fully cleansed by the "blood of Jesus" meant that all things would be pure. In one place he even said to a father 'according to your faith' when the father asked if the incestuous thoughts he was having about his young daughter were right or wrong. The doctrine that the love of God, the freedom of the Spirit, the cleansing of the blood making sex with children even your own being normal in God's eyes, was not in just a couple of pubs here and there, it was consistently published in a variety of pubs during that era.
What did that do to me? When I visited a home and saw the young children were going off to bed and being tucked in pairs to have their own personal cuddle time, and when I saw an adult man hoping my 11 yr old daughter was going to be staying there that night so that he could have a chance to get in bed with her, I was so glad I had an excuse NOT to be staying there that night and took my wife and kids home. However, I began to wonder what was wrong with me. Why was I so freaked out? This was in the letters, something was wrong with me and I wasn't revolutionary enough. I believed that I was somehow not fully cleansed and fully freed by the blood of the lamb, that I was not "pure in the Spirit" the way I was supposed to be. Now I’m so thankful that I did feel that way and that I wasn’t “saved à la Berg” into his perversions. It kept me kept me from being tempted to do the same with any other underage or of age teens.
On the subject of discipline: there was so much indoctrination on what to do: the spankings, even extremely severe, the demerits, word studies, silence restrictions. If you failed to follow the teaching in these things you were a delinquent parent. In my opinion "The Last State" was the worst child training letters and probably did the most harm. I'm sickened by memories of some of my actions; I can do no more than assume personal responsibility and where and whenever possible I must in all earnestness and sincerity ask for forgiveness.
