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In Reply to: Re: What did you see? posted by Blondie on November 26, 2003 at 23:55:54:
I wanted to leave for a long time before I actually could. I was trapped trying to save up, trying to make sure all my children were in the same home at the same time, and making sure my partner was in full agreement and wasn't going to report me. That had already happened once before. When something like that happens, you can be separated from your children forever.
The 80s was indeed a "dark age" with lots of couples being forced apart, and lots of children being forced away from their parents. The purgings were not too different from the bloody history of other movements, like the red guards, the bolshevics, the rise of nazi germany and so on.
Many of us were not only hampered logistically and financially, or waiting for the perfect synchronicity of leaving with our partners. We were also zombified by letters like IRFers Beware and thought that God would kill us if we went back on our promise to serve him in "the highest and best" place. (That elitist self-righteous competitive crap was completely contrary to biblical teachings anyway!)
I agree with you though, that the main difference between the SG and the FG, is that you (SG) were children. Zombvified or petrified, you were certainly much less equipped to leave than FGs.
One factor to consider too, is guilt.
In a war, soldiers fighting on the battle field may never agree with the politics, nor the reasons why they are there at all. But they stay in the trench because they don't want to abandon their buddies. Nobody wants to be there, but they are there for each other, for the guy on the right, and the guy on their left. Simply getting up and leaving just because they don't agree, besides being a potential court martial and instant firing squad for desertion in the middle of a war (actually not too differernt from the threats of IRFers Beware where Berg says God will kill you), would also leave them with the feeling that they let you buddies down. You don't want them to get killed because you weren't there to do your part and help them.
Many soldiers say the only 'family' they really had was their army unit. This 'family' bonding is a strong binding force that keeps soldiers fighting to the death even for wars they don't even believe in.
TF also used this war scenario: beware the devil, beware the system, to break us down and bond us into fighting units believing we were under siege. In fact a 'siege mentality' is a very accurate description for the frame of mind of TF since its founding. Well, this siege mentality was used to keep us staying in for years. Many like me wanted to leave, but we didn't want to let our buddies down. In fact, that was used several times by shepherds who were trying to win back potential 'deserters' or 'backsliders'.
