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In Reply to: Re: Exactly posted by jo on May 25, 2003 at 23:45:22:
What I separate into good and bad is not the "Family experience" but the people in the Family and how they carried the Family's directives. Some people joined a sex cult (Arthur is the biggest example of that, ha!) but I don't think everybody did. When I joined I had a special attachment to those who witnessed to me and then some of those who taught me things. Some impressed me well and others surprised me with their lack of interest in what I considered Christian values. I started noticing the differences in the seriousness of people by listening to what they said and observing what they did. The vast majority did a good job and were consistent but not some leaders. In this environment, why did I stay? Some people were nice but others just didn't want to contaminate their purified souls interacting with low class disciples. This social arrangement was obvious to me since the very beginning and I didn't expect much from it. Maybe that is why it didn’t disappoint me too much. I think I stayed because of the nice people I got to meet.
What I didn't realize were the rotten deals in other aspects of the Family. It had been designed to deceive people so we didn't have many choices on hardly anything. We swallowed the whole thing slowly but surely. Jo's panic attacks are understandable in those circumstances. With 3 children and noticing the direction things were going for her, nowhere and with no support. The sad thing is that although people did this, it was really the result of the Family’s teachings and structures. Of course people had some (small or huge) responsibility for enforcing evil deeds but not everybody did or were in position to do something about changing those things.
When we liked certain people more than others we felt special but the reality was that they were more "disciples of the cult" than anything else.. The word "friend" didn't even exist in the Family. Only systemites have friends and only when talking to them we would use that word. Even those we loved dearly were not part of our life because they preferred the comfort of their "discipleship". What they call "putting God first" is really "cult discipleship", which they confuse with God because they don’t know they can think on their own, that God can speak to them as individuals and that God is still calling them out of her.
After leaving the group, I realized that my bad experiences had to do with the teachings of the Family but my good experiences would always be associated to individuals, some of the good people I had met. I don't think "The Family" was or is a good thing at all but I see how some people in it helped me along the way and others were good company. This is not only true in our Family experience but everywhere else because we are constantly meeting people. Some are difficult, hateful, rude, inconsiderate, lovely, or friendly but it is our choice to associate with some and avoid others. It is not my place of employment's or organization's fault that some people are a certain way.
I don’t call it "compartmentalizing", but by making these distinctions the differences among people started to be obvious. I also see the whole Family experience as a whole, like MV and Jo do, but for my emotions (not for my intellectual processes) I purposely decided to put aside any negative memories including the pain, insults, put downs and let down. It is my choice not to allow The Family in my life, to refuse to give The Family any power over me anymore. Even as I still have good memories of some people, The Family is in my life only as a remind of the evil from which God has delivered me.
