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In Reply to: The demons returned posted by Acheick on May 21, 2003 at 06:58:53:
It makes complete sense that you would be having nightmares in light of having relatives still in the family and then your horrific ex coming over for the graduation of one of your children.
One thing that helped me in a similar situation that was very overwhelming was to have someone very supportive with me, like a cheerleader, and I had the understanding that the discomfort might exist but methods of not giving in to it. Imagine how self empowering it would be to have him there and exude confidence and be able to act like he was a fly under the swatter...
Hey it may be acting at first, but might help in the long run.
Those nightmares would be normal, given your experience with him, and then the fam. experience. Seeing him again, or the anticipation of it is a triggering event. Maybe he won't make it. I think of the American Version of La Femme Nikita, when the girl is learning to be cultured and she is very angry but smiles and says laughingly, "I never did mind the little things.."
Now we have power after that ugly experience of the fam. and exes still in. I hope the best for you and that you have a wonderful time in spite of him. I cannot imagine what it must be like to still have children (adult or not) in the family. What do you do to deal with that? I am sure others have the same experiences.
Just remember that you are strong and amazing because you have survived the fam. and are thriving outside of it, even with all the obstacles you have had and that still lie in your path along the way.
