|
In Reply to: It's a trap posted by Acheick on May 01, 2002 at 20:15:22:
These are Victor Frankl's own words and I want to quote him here. Let us try to envision a scenario where somehow your brother manages. In many ways, there are pros and cons and the situation as you say is INDEED screwed up no matter how you look at it.
So, let us try a little faith, coping skills, and preparation: if at all possible to keep a line of communication open with your brother (there are computers nowadays, etc)- think of all the young adults that made it out and are showing resilience in spite of everything. Think of something positive, anything good you can think of. There has to be a way not to consume yourself with the 'case' and trying to find some distance even if just to cope.
I understand with your brother's case it is impossible if not very hard to think of the worst because it DID happen, (and that is a fact, so there is trauma related to that) but remember it does NOT have to happen again.
There are multiple possibilities when it comes to people' s resilience and overcoming and many of us (you included) are PROOF of it.
Sounds to me you are overwhelmed (legitimately) emotionally and in need to save energy just to live and get by, so if there is no way this time to fight circumstances you wait until next time. In the meantime we don't stop talking, posting, resisting. There is more coverage now than there has EVER been with records, documentation, etc. That is a good sign and it makes us hope for the future.
If in the meantime if you can be in an area where you can build a support network alerting people in social welfare to your history and situation you can slowly build a system of support that could kick into gear when need arises. I realize it takes time, but I am just trying to be realistic. You cannot do miracles (hell you have already done enough) but many times we start with very small bricks and keep building from there as we can.
I leave you with 2 minimalistic and hope generating proverbs:
"A kind word warms for 3 winters" (Japanese)
"Sometimes just a match can warm like a bonfire" (Russian)
(don't know if the translation is so correct as I know them in Italian :)
