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In Reply to: Making real friends. Can it be done? posted by Bystander on November 14, 2002 at 12:03:07:
I'm not sure how old you are, but it doesn't really matter - the answer is the same. It took me a very long time before I could actually have more than a superficial conversation with other people, like about 7 years. I was always afraid that if I spent too much time talking to someone that they would eventually ask me about my sketchy past. I found out later that avoiding talking about it so much really did make some people wonder what I was hiding.
There are a few people that I felt close enough to after all those years that I was able to tell, and they still love me and accept me for who I am. In fact, we even laugh about some of my experiences together. It's nice to be able to talk with someone about it once in a while instead of keeping it bottled up inside all the time.
I also have some wonderful friends at work that I know love me, but I have not told them about my past. I probably never will, but they know the me who is now, and that is the person they care about.
My older kids are 19-27, and they all have tons of friends, and I believe all of their friends know about our past. It has not ever hampered their relationships, as far as I know. If anything, it probably made them feel sorry for them for having such weird parents! :-) In the beginning, I am sure it was difficult to make friends because we were so scared of everything and everyone, but once that barrier was broken, making friends is not really all that difficult.
I really wish you the best and hope that you will be blessed with some very special friendships, whether or not they know everything about your past life.
