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In Reply to: Ramble on.. posted by NOT Ann Landers on September 18, 2002 at 13:30:19:
I know that for most of my life "relationship" was a word I knew nothing about personally when it came to intimacy with another human being as a potential life-time commitment. I am just learning. in the family, often people were put together, or jumped into something to avoid that. Some of those relationships survived. Mine did not. I was thinking of that movie "When a man loves a Woman" (meg ryan and andy garcia), and how that they were together but their relationship was either great or catastrophic much of the time. What I liked about the outcome was that they got to identify for themselves and with each other what they liked, didn't like, what they did to each other that hurt, and what they did that worked. Relationships take a lot of work first individually and then together, I think. When it isn't "working" I don't have to jump out of it, I can get myself well and then decide if I want to continue, and the other person has the same option. I am in a rocky roller coaster part of that ride. But I am hanging in there, because I want intimacy, not a series of people, always going away with that empty feeling inside. Two complete people can make one healthy couple... Two incomplete people will always be searching, I think.
