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In Reply to: Responsiblility and accountability? posted by Post R on September 05, 2002 at 11:06:52:
I respect the rights of people to see differently on issues. I do see it differently. I can't for the life of me imagine that while anyone under the influence of the family, after all the training and fear indoctrination, and all the Clockwork Orange style of scripture useage, would ever have been able to confront Berg or any leadership, without the consequences being dire and affecting their own lives greivously. Maybe some people swallow when Berg blamed the FFing and other sexual abuses on "those dirty filthy hippies". People are free to think what they want. I don't support Berg or the family in any way shape or form, but neither do I believe that any one group has a corner on suffering. There were some SGs/A's that got out without victor camps or being sexually abused, even though there was abusive literature. There were many adults put through systematic dealings-with, and abuses that exceeded that of others, regardless of age. I think that to hold myself accountable would be like saying I was in a battered relationship (before I understood what it was, how I got there, why I stayed there etc.) I think it would be nice if we ALL backed each other up as survivors regardless of age according to needs and requests and peoples abilities to do so. The sociopaths are a different story, and you can be a sociopath at an early age and a sexual abuser at an early age. Not all people who were abused become abusers. I think it is incredibly unsupportive of any former members to categorically take any age group and say "We should all accept responsibility, accountability" or should have stood up to what, in our minds could result in God squashing us like a little bug. That is just my opinion. Sure, there is a difference in being born and raised in it, or joining it as an adult. But there are also differences in everyones individual story, regardless of age. In the end who helps anybody by beating any one group up? Or by denying or minimizing any other group for what they have experienced, by comparison? Do you think it is heatlthy to take a battered woman who finally gets out and gets help and tell her she is responsible for the battering? That is not how they are helped. Even moreso an all controlling and consuming group like COG/FOL/Fam. I am sick of labels. AA in California has groups for people who are straight, people who are gay, people who are teens, people who are into S&M, people who are old, people who have 5+ yrs. sobriety and on and on goes the division. I am sure there are SGA's that had children in the family as adults. There are times and places to support SG's, SGA's, FGA's ALL. So why the hell would I feel responsible for not speaking up and challenging leadership or the letters or report something if I was taught..and really believed that it was all something wrong with me if and when I DID? If we could think like that THEN, while IN, we wouldn't be meeting at these boards....
So, I think it is healthy to say I will not step on my own neck or anyone else's that is out and recovering, and that includes my neck.
