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In Reply to: Re: openmindedness posted by MG on August 12, 2002 at 00:01:35:
hi, mg. i was "reclassified" in 91 for expressing to "the folks" a whole string of questions about family doctrine. obviously, i understood the consequences before i "popped" , but my wife had no clue i was so eaten up inside, and did not share my disillusionment. thankfully, she decided to come w/ me..a real miracle , as it was years before she really began to see thru the family's errors. (THAT was a huge source of friction as you can imagine!) We still had 3 kids "in" as well as another mate and 6 kids "in" inanother country...non-u.s. TS'ing was a way to somehow maintain positive contacts and a lowcost compromise w/ my wife.. Maria herself understood my position clearly.( we did not send a 10% tithe, tho...only the minimum.) finally', a family leader w/ whom we are friendly suggested we save our money, as my belief's did not fit the definition of ts. good advice! Ha!
by this time, 2 of the kids were out, the other i knew would follow as he had seen thru too much of the error to stay for too long. frankly tho, it took us quite awhile to really mainstream. (in fact we still aren't exactly ozzie and harriet!) but as far as the family went, they did us a huge favor by treating us very unkindly...so emotionally the break was pretty sharp for me, and eventually it helped my wife to see as well.
the main factor in getting free spiritually was really reading. when we began to get fed so much more thru classics of the faith, and research family beliefs w/ various commentaries etc. , the family theology just started seeming like a bad joke. the difficult process of making sense of having stayed in so long was more of an ordeal. thank the Lord we eventually, thru some other exmems, met an amazing couple who really understood the dynamics of mind control in a "biblebased" aberrant group, and patiently guided us thru a lot of tough times.
our biggest challenge has been helping the kids sort thru the experience. lots of problems there. we were driven by necessity to put the kids in school. altho i'm still a believer in homeschooling as a good alternative for many, it wasn't a good option for us eventually. (i think we did for about 4 years or so..but eventually saw it wasn't the best for our specific situation. the kids did do pretty well in school...but also hooked up w/ "the culture" in ways we would have rather avoided...but as my wife is fond of saying, "this ain't little house on the prairie!"
not sure if this is in anyway helpful. Gb.
