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In Reply to: wondering why no one answered this post posted by Karen on August 04, 2002 at 07:46:02:
I left the group as a "burn-out". For years I was stuck in numbness and day to day functioning. I knew that something was wrong because I could think empathy (working on a childrens psych unit) but not FEEL it. I went to work, home to sleep and back to work again. My life was one of isolation largely. I could talk to people, work well with the kids, but didn't get close to anyone. I felt like I existed. When I watched the movie "Sleepers" I related very much with the character that Brad Pitt played. I understand that deadness. It is formally called PTSD. That character was a lawyer that went on to live in the English countryside as a carpenter, alone. I understand that state of mind. I came on these boards just about 3 months ago. In 2000, after physical illness struck, compounded with car wreck, not able to work, loss of home, my dog, etc. I lost it. I had virtually never cried, and now I couldn't quit, I was very highly anxious and wanted to die. I was then officially diagnosed with Major Depression and PTSD. I have always been called (in every circle I have been in, of workers, acquaintances, etc.)"A very strong person." I didn't try to hold back my feelings, I just didn't have them, couldn't MAKE myself have them. Now, over the past 3 mos. I have come to the boards. I first found another, and at that time there were some people defending Berg, calling people Berg-bashers and discounting other peoples legitimate pain. I came on swinging. I felt ANGRY. I don't think the problem is getting stuck in a grief process, i.e. in anger...I think the problem is that some people just can't stand to see others there, and either directly put them down or inadvertently do so. This does not help the grief process along. After all what is the timeline for anger and depression after a LIFETIME of abuse? Another thing is that I know i post supportive stuff to people alot. But I hate this post (not you, Karen!) because when I read it I hear "you are dysfunctional if it takes more than a few months not to be angry" or with ray's post, I heard "don't you think that listening to others experiences about how they got over it is worth trying?" These aren't quotes of either of your posts. It is how they come across to me. And it doesn't help. It hurts. Karen, I am SURE that your intentions are the best, and hope this is not how you are applying it. (since the repost was re: a post I made and then ray's comments).
