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In Reply to: 90 reasons why it's cool to be a systemite Repost from moving on posted by Mekka on July 28, 2002 at 22:12:12:
Let's see, how many reasons make me grin?
1. When I masturate it's a way to feel good, not a form of worship.
2. I drink sherry because I like it, not because God's anointed shot his liver with the holy stuff.
3. Demons do not live in bottles of Cyprus sherry. I'm not in the Family and I'm not Pentecostal.
4. I don't have to pray before I turn the key, when I'm only going 5 minutes to the store.
5. I don't have to say, "Lord bless this conversation" before I talk to my wife about who does the dishes.
4. I do the dishes becuase they're dirty. Not because I'd go to a victor's prison camp if I didn't.
5. I no longer have to feel guilty that I can't play the guitar.
6. When I hear of leadership burping and crying and speaking in tongues,I don't have to close my eyes reverently and whisper, "Amen Lord, amen. Amen, amen Lord."
7. When my wife says Peter's on the phone and he's upset, my guess is it's the carpet guy who tried to deliver when I was gone. Not the god of my life who's going to publish a series of public scating rebukes about me.
8. When I have the runs I don't have to check my heart for sin. And I certainly don't have to "dig deep".
9. When my kids are sick it's because crap is going around, not because I need to start tithing again.
10. The only reason I can't watch certain movies is not because they're forbidden, but because they might scare my wife.
11. When someone asks if I'm going through something I can tell them without worrying who's going to read a report about it.
12. Eating someone's shit and drinking their piss is not considered "Devotions" any more.
