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In Reply to: as an SGA posted by porceleindoll on July 21, 2002 at 19:41:25:
I don't think I've ever read anything you've written that doesn't make a lot of sense! My point in what I wrote, and which I still feel very strongly about, is that I don't believe that most or many or maybe even any FGA's knew what they were getting into when joining, and most/many joined at a very young age. I know that I was barely 18 when I joined, and that what I found in the family seemed far better than the family I originally came from. I was on the streets in L.A. when I met the family and had been through a lot in a little bit of time. The point of my question about why didn't SG/A's run away was because the answer you gave is precisely some of the same reasons FGA's did not get out. I believe we were all victims/survivors. Yes there are some differences, I don't deny that, but the lack of control that SGA's had is in many ways the same that FGA's had, especially if you were cut off from any and all outside contacts, in a foreign country, risked losing your kids in the "family" system, felt like your reservations were a lack of dedication to God, or a weakness, and so on. One things FGA's face that some SG/SGA's do not, is the guilt of having been of legal age and been in the family and seeing the wreckage that occurred in their childrens' lives, or in the lives of other adults while under the influence of the family. Certainly when many FGA's joined they were very young and naive, never imagining what would happen. At the time that I joined, you didn't go anywhere without a "buddy" and you had set cards given to you to memorize, there were no doors on the bathroom stalls, people had to bathe from a sink or a bowl, at TSC showers were once a week, timed, and there was no heat in the cold. I could go on and on with the "sacrifices" or "abuses". I did get out around the time when the 'Marry Time' letter and letters about sending kids to schools came out. I don't know what I would have done if everything hadn't come together to do so. So many SG/SGA comments are aimed at FGA's as if they joined a group that they knew was run by a pedophile who would molest their children. Not so! In fact when I joined, I remember hearing that we were the last generation! And that we were God's chosen end-time army. My point is that I would like to see healing occur from all sides, and that I realize that everyone is on a different stage as far as healing goes. Maybe with this dialogue, we will begin to gain some insight and understanding about each other that can help. I have made peace with my kids, who got out at the ages of 7,8 and 9 yrs. old. (They were born within) Hindsight is 20:20. I am glad you got out. I am glad that I got out with my family when I did. But I also can imagine how some stayed. Maybe people discussing their own experiences about joining and staying and then leaving, at different points in their lives, can bring some of this into perspective more? Including stories of those who have left that were born into the family, or entered it as a child. Did you feel like you were "right" when you left? I know I felt like I was weak or wrong, but thought I would literally crack if I stayed in any longer. I gained perspective about that some time after leaving, and looking back after being out from the family and all of it's influences and restrictions.
