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In Reply to: Re: missed a lot.... posted by Jude on July 21, 2002 at 11:27:06:
My parents joined when I was 4, back in 72 or something, toured Europe for 5 years, returned to the States and integrated into society for 7 years, but during about 2 of those years my dad remained close to the group, esp. toward the last year or so of our time there, we rejoined when I was 15, where I stayed until I was 31, the last 2 years of that as FM, the the last year of that in name only. And for the most part of our time out of the group, it still played a role in our lives as my dad's desire was to eventually rejoin, so he tried to stay close.
So, when do we need to take responsibility for our choice, and why didn't we just run away. I believe that much of that answer lies in the time period you were in the group, the area that you lived in and the shepherding you had.
I lived in mostly Japan as a teen. My shepherds included many (in)famous and other not so well known, among them Ado, Ginny, Margie, Ezra, Elaine and Ricky, Mary Mom, Josiah, Gary, Ike, and several others (a lot of time spent at the HCS and Greenfields).
There were many many times when I wanted to leave, but it wasn't out of disgust for the group, but out of discouragement that I couldn't keep up with things and out of a desire to have a slower and more 'selfish' life. These are highly frowned upon desires in the group, if you can't keep up with the changes, then pray and get desperate, the Lord will help you, and who wants to be a selfish lazy systemite, God's punishments will rain on the unworthy and even more so on the backslider. It was very heavy and intense pressure to remain in the group, not to mention my deep love for my father and some of my shepherds, whom I deeply respected, I just couldn't let them down.
What about letting the Lord down, being a failure and cast on His useless vessel heap? That was the ultimate fear, getting to Heaven and having to say the words, "If I only had!" So, each time I wanted to leave, I fought it out and supressed my desires and hung in there at my CC job, or JJT I was doing, or (the all-humiliating for me) door to door tapenissing or postering. There were days and weeks when I was in secret misery, one cause I wasn't happy, two cause I couldn't confess to anyone about these things without fear of a correction, desperate prayer, rebuking the evil spirits in my heart, etc. which had happened before.
While I wasn't born in the group, my siblings were, and the group was enough a part of my life to mold me into what I was and am. It has had the greatest influence of anything else I have come in contact with (well, Star Wars comes close--JUST JOKING!!)
I think that around the age of 21 a person should take on the responsibilty of their own decision to remain in the group. But see, the group doesn't make that distinction either, they expect you to remain a 'child of the group' the whole time you are there. The term SGA goes to children who were born in the group and have become adults. What about new disciples who join at the same age, they are not labelled as such, but in a way, they are more mature cause it is a definite choice, step in their life to join this group. Kids born into it have never had the choice to experience anything else and make the decision to be in the group of their own free will.
I suggested a few years ago that the group kick out their youth at a certain age and allow them to rejoin as babes and go through the whole babes thing. Needless to say, the idea was rejected, but I personally thought it was a good idea, either that or require that all youth go for a two year missionary thing like the Mormons do.
I think the FGAs do hold a greater responsibility cause when we were innocent kids, and didn't know any better, the FGAs were getting trained in the sexual practices of the group and other odd things, which were then passed down to us before we had a chance to know that there were alternative beliefs available. Even on the outside world if one is a Christian, they still have interaction with other belief styles through school, tv, friends and society, so they are making choices every day as they grow up as to what they personally believe. In the Family we didn't have that opportunity, we were extremely brainwashed, all our outside influences were very monitored and we were fed what the group and its teachers wanted to feed us.
But in this present age, with the looser restrictions in the group, the greater freedoms, more access to movies, books, the internet, and even making outside friends, I think that the present set of youth will be capable of making their choices at an earlier age, just due to the present situation of the group.
Does that make any sense?
