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In Reply to: Re: i really don't think you did... posted by marina on July 11, 2002 at 09:21:40:
obviously, to reiterate for the umpteenth time, i am very ashaned to have been associated in anyway w/ the propagations of the abuses to which you refer. i am a parent, w/ kids who have struggled w/ the whole gamut of therapy, locked wards, multiple suicide attempts, etc. my heart literally breaks when i think of choices i could have made that might have spared them much of this. (i've since learned, family or no family, we can't spare them all there pain.)
it would take me a long time to explain how , to the best of my current understanding of myself, i was desensitized to mo's teachings and practices concerning both ffing and childhood sex. but i'm sure you've read enough lit on the subject of spiritual abuse and mind control to get the general idea. tho ffing was a big deal for a few years, and sharing was so off and on depending on the situation, actually most of our focus as leaders in pioneering situations was elsewhere, on things like survival, visas, new disciples, babies ,(having and caring for), personel issues, radio shows etc. my memory bank is actually full of many answered prayers, shared victories, close calls w/ the fro, some really funny times w/ some really lovely people, some of whom are still our best friends to this day.life in the family in my opinion was widely diverse depending on who, what, where, and when, as well as a million other variables. i hope i am not accused of minimizing evil by admitting i experienced much beauty as well.
as time wore on we were confronted personally w/ a darker type of experience. when timothy and his wife got the royal shaft, i got caught up in a vortex of events that altered my experience immensely. (they were my best friends growing up.)we were drawn into the drama of court politics, and frankly, looking back, i was unbelievably naive and vulnerable. it is difficult now to think of mo, in his bizarre world of spirit helpers, prophecies de la grape, perversions etc. as having a very impressive charisma. but there is not only that at work, but also the principle described in "the emporer's new clothes"...you don't want to be the only flatlander who doesn't see it...you KNOW already you have rebellious thoughts you have to fight pretty regulaly, plus those little foxes you hope God doesn't expose (i was living in greece at the time...the devil's kafenion's w/ supercharged expressos and 10 cent brandy!) and fear of failing your calling on earth and living out your days as gods vomit followed by everlasting shame and contempt, well, maybe you've been there maybe not.lets just say it altered my perception of reality quite signifigantly.
(to be continued...gotta take my son out for a bit...)
