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In Reply to: The Benefit of the Boards posted by MG on May 19, 2002 at 02:40:05:
Thanks, MG. Me too, I also was very angry when I first came to the internet community of exmembers. I had something to say and no one to say it to, who would understand? Even Judge Ward could get fooled by the smooth talk of the F. They pass us off as sour grapes, who cares? It's great to have a place to come and vent and people who DO care and if they had the power and the resources would do something about it. This is like an online support group, something we cannot find anywhere else. We all just need to find our voice and our courage and confidence. This is what Berg and his legacy took from us.
As you so aptly put, there is a process. Let's add shock in there. For some of us who were so convinced, so adament, so much so that we did things we would never have done otherwise, it's a shock to come to the realization that it was all wrong. And yes, it WAS all wrong. God may have used it, good things may have happened, but how can you build on a premise that started off wrong and continued on a downward path until we have what we have in the F. today? Was the time wasted? That is up to each indivdual to decide for themselves. A lot depends on what happened to the individual person, how long they were in, what they left with, how much had been destroyed, damaged.
And the process continues on. From what I see, many people leave when they are forced to reexamine the F. and their beliefs. Usually, there is some trauma, something that puts them over the edge. For me, it was the children, they were not going to take them away from me again and I wanted out. I didn't care if God sent me to hell, I wanted out. For others, they have to leave because of health problems, or they're asked to leave because they are not happy or yeilded enough. So the process is different for different people.
After the shock comes anger. And that can be displayed in different ways. I still believe in some sort of thought control, even brainwashing, if you will. It's like walking into a time warp, becoming something you're not, and then leaving and reverting back to what you were before. For a long time I was angry at God - why didn't he show me when I was so desperately praying to do his will? I was honestly and genuinely trying to follow God. How could I be so wrong for so long? I still don't have the answer and that's where forgiveness comes in. I think the most important thing is to be able to forgive ones self and that is the hardest thing to do and takes longer than even forgiving Grimpaw or those who harmed you in the F.
Thanks MG for posting this. Very insightful and helpful.
