The Benefit of the Boards

Pretty soon it will be one year since I officially left the F. At first I wasn't ready for anything like the boards.... Crossfire, Exfamily.org, etc. In fact, needless to say there was quite a struggle going on in my mind.... 30 yrs of believing that Berg was the Endtime Prophet and that I was called to be one of the Chosen Ones, a member of the elite army of the end time. There’s all that idealism that comes into the picture. The fear of missing God's highest will kept me in the F for so long, and that same fear lingers on. (This kind of fear was not a healthy one, because I was not leaving God’s highest will when I left the F. In fact, I was doing His Highest Will.) Power had been excerted over me and my life....and I had chosen it.

Then I chose to leave. Somehow Peter and Zerby convinced Judge Ward that people who leave the F are equipped to live in today’s society. But it’s not true. At first I had no perspective on where I was in my life or where it was going. Thank God it's getting better now. I want to say something here but it’s hard to put my finger on it. It's because Grimpaw, as someone says in their posts, I love that, --well, those paws are still on your psyche. He was this holy cow, don’t question, don’t doubt his words..... that doesn’t go away so easily. NOT UNTIL I CAME TO THE BOARDS!

When I first started reading on the boards other people's feelings about their lives in the F, their experiences and their feelings about it now... I identified with it, and I found a DEFINITION for my own feelings which were still in the blur of 30 years of F influences. The boards and the bashing have helped me to find a perspective. Let's call that stage one.

Stage two: anger. It does a whole lot of good to hear the truth about Berg and Zerby. It does NOT matter if it gets embellished. And then it did me a lot of good to started venting my own anger!

Eventually another process has to come into the picture, the forgiveness factor. I know I’m going to have to work on being forgiving, because forgiving is a huge part of recovery. And that kind of forgiving, forgiving Berg will take the rest of my life. There’s a time for me to forgive, but there’s the time for anger too! I need both!

Look at the F today! Zerby and Peter are still at it, their mission is to carry on the Berg legacy and forge their own. In the process they’re duping a lot of really great people.... my own daughter included. Look at the lame brain disgusting response Zerby gave to Kate, it’s unbelievable, others say it better than I can:

“Words can't express my disgust for the drivel that Maria and her "prophets" vomit out and call "The Lord's Words" as if they were hearing from David Berg, Jesus, and God knows who else…..Every time I read stuff like this, it makes me want to re-kick myself in the ass for ever having swallowed as much shit as I did, and in turn gave out to others. My God! It's unbelievable! She actually thought this was encouraging when she wrote it, I'm sure. That's the wackiest thing of all! Maria and Peter actually BELIEVE that they are who they think they arE....”(TAKEN FROM A POST BY Ssam)

!) Recognition, defining, perspective gaining. 2) Anger. 3) Forgiving. To sum it up, for me this is a process that will go on every day of my life, and these things are going on simultaneously and have helped me enormously, that's what THE BENEFIT OF THE BOARDS has meant to me.