Posted by Jules on March 18, 2004 at 18:31:48
In Reply to: Reconciliation - pros & cons posted by Coordinator on March 17, 2004 at 20:40:23:
I am only speaking for myself here, just to be clear, but there are two things I have to say on the issue of “reconciliation”.
1. Regarding reconciliation: there is a major difference between family (our own family, not the cult) and some arbitrary “uncle” or “auntie”. For me, having some sort of relationship with my parents means a great deal to me. I am willing to accept a lot about them and in turn having them acknowledge me and hearing them say they care about and love me means a great deal. There is a bond there that means something and I personally am willing to make the effort to develop some kind of interaction with them and work things out.
Regarding all the other people who abused me in the Family, they can kiss my ass. I owe them nothing and I never ever want to see them again.
2. It’s possible that the degree of harm done makes a difference.
If someone who was a mean teen shepherd wrote me and said “I’m sorry I was such an ass. You should have been allowed to just be a kid and I gave you way too many demerits and laps around the yard”, personally, I probably would accept that and wish them well and be happy that they got it now. For someone to write and say “I’m sorry I raped you when you were 12”, doesn’t really cut it.
All of what I am saying here is just my own opinion. I am interested to know what other SGs think about these issues. Would you mind if I reposted the “coordinator’s” compilation on MovingOn?