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Posted by Very Old on May 13, 2010 at 23:01:04
In Reply to: Re: Ex member from Argentina posted by Ananda Nobre on May 10, 2010 at 17:44:00:
Ananda,
I was in S.A.for a few years before the time you mention. Hablo algo de espaņol pero escribo mejor Ingles.
Just because there is a period of time you are not able to recollect doesn't mean that you were abused. The loss may be due to other traumatic experiences, maybe involving people you looked up to. It may be something as simple as your mother going away from your home, or leaving you at the care of others for some extended period.
I am not denying other possibilities, given the teachings and the strong peer pressure but keep in mind that you may never know what you don't know. I would not be surprised that your own mother has also lost some memory.
Why do I say all of this? Because I have experienced both types of memory loss, as a child and as an adult.
For years My memories stopped at when I was about 3 years old. I remember some things of when I was 2 but I pinpoint the time when my memories simple stopped. Just a couple of years ago, trying to piece my own history, out of the blue, one very traumatic event was presented to me. I was told that when I was three the person who had been taking care of my (a relative because my mother worked full time) decided to leave me and suddenly nobody took care of me for about 1 year. I have no idea what took place. I am sure somebody or several people took care of me, but not the person I had grown used to be with. All of the sudden I felt a heavy weight being lift off from me. I knew that was the reason why I had had that somber feeling of not remembering. It must have been a very tragic event in my life.
In conclusion I would say that I think you are doing the right thing. I also went from a long time not wanting to hear or know about TF, and then suddenly about a little more of 10 years ago I wanted to know as much as I could about them.
You are doing the right thing because you are now mature and in your hear you have the certainty that you want to deal with whatever life will throw at you. I think you are a strong person, and may be one day you will find what those traumatic events were, or may be not. In either case, I am sure that you will be able to handle. There is a good chance that you simple didn't like the whole experience in spite of seeing some things as positive. Going to jail is not a joke, and being away from your mother is not a joke.
In any case, knowing about people like you who are not afraid of looking into the dark and ask questions is encouraging. I hope you will find a measure of serenity, and many good things in your life. You a re a survivor, and a very strong one for that matter. Your accomplishments demonstrate that.
Thank you.
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