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In Reply to: Re: Joseph, I am very glad to have u here again,would love to posted by Joseph on November 24, 2009 at 21:08:00:
...it impresses me lots, touches me deeply what you "OT-website-designers" exchange about late personal experiences.Reading that and what Pastor Don had posted about a graceful life inspite of severe handicaps should make me pause enough before I complain & bellyache the next time.Life isn't just a stroll at the seaside on vacations...I am thankful for the many moments, when it is actually like that, but I think I really learned through hardships, by comparing...knowing up from down.
My mother reached the age of 89...many of my close would be relatives had already died before my birth either by WWII impacts or by sickness...so that age is kind of "family-record"
I had stronger remorse over her "departing" than when my father died...may be because I was then
"harder" myself...this time I felt a bit "deserted"/lonely/left although I had become the last 2 years the legal guardian in most bureaucratic affairs.She had old-age-Parkinson and due to that fell quite often to the point of hurting herself more than once badly...injuries, breaking bones...she was the last 5 years in an old folks-home (that made me think, about how I would be able to afford that, would I have to endure similar conditions) and then due to a fall more than two years ago, she broke her shoulder; the 2 operations were probably too much and she suffered a stroke and was since then disabled.
That sight pained...artificial nutrition...totally bedridden...the phonecall, informing about her death came nevertheless as a surprise, I had thought, 90 would have been such a nice "round number"...
The funeral was more touching than I had imagined.
Although I left the Lutheran church almost 20 years ago as a member, I was thankful for this dear pastors little ceremony.He hit the right "chord"/nerve...not knowing much about us as a family...for the urn got transferred to Berlin, to have the "last rest" there...so it wasn't "her pastor"...the only song had such deep meaning and beauty one of the 19th century.
The few remaining relatives and friends had also their visible ups and downs in life...some of the former DDR...east Germany...some almost walking
dead...through cancer sickness.To me that was super sobering.The weather was amazingly warm and sunny for autumn-season in our hemisphere.
It's like watching, filmlike, who has already gone ahead..those who still remain here in their ninetees, the middle-age group...some struggling and the undisturbed youth...it seems.
Joseph, I don't believe in the gospel of affluence and it has annoyed me, whenever that was heavily preached and claimed in the US...I wish it to many...or all...for that matter...but it is just not possible as of today...(I recently read in a nice comparison..."regrouping/figuring" the facts to make it easier comprehendible, that there would have to be the equivalent of 5 earths
if everyone on earth should have the standard of living as in the US)...so there is no envy for the more affluent on my side, at the same time, there is much more closeness to the little folks and their hardships...it seems, they are sweeter through life's hardships... to me.
I had to relearn recently lots of work-chores in a new workshop (after 11 years at an "easier" place)...still in the same international company...and that was very taxing at my age...I am surrounded by youngsters, who know these skills for long and don't have the necessary patience with someone like me...but I made it my goal to succeed nonetheless....on top of that the death of my mother and I was quite a bit under pressure lately...still little compared to what I sense others go through.
These are for me the little and big heroes in life.
Talking about bipolaric or any disorders...the eldest son of my ex...my adopted/stepson so to speak
(though not legally, for we were never legally married), got at times in bad company.He was born and raised in TF and after we as personally family split, things didn't become better necessarily either.He got once some Cannabis mixed with something else and that badly influenced his psyche from then on.Someone told me, that for that kind of illness, to some part people are genetically "disfavoured"...to some parts it can have social elements and some can be drug related...I wondered then, whether he had strains and parts of all possible negative factors for this disorder??
True, in TF and even out, we try to give things a spiritual label/spin and I am far from seeing the human being as only a lump of "clay" and some staggering figure of atoms and molecules.
I believe in the spiritual element in life
I believe real love is the best protection from the harms in life or the best "survival-plan"
In that sense I wish you all here and especially you Joseph...HIS very best love and protection.
