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In Reply to: Re: Not without my sister posted by boomb on July 15, 2009 at 15:30:29:
Whatever works out for you best...one thing I trusted more and more again in my life...rather than Mo-letters...leaders & whatnot, is to ask my heart, if I had peace about something, whether I experience joy, whether I have love for others...and by digging into lots of books, plus mingling with "undemanding" good people.If too much is missing in my heart, I conclude something is terribly wrong with me & I mean it.I am veeeery far from being perfect or good, but I like to adhere to guidelines & laws, people in the world couldn't care less about, especially in the West.I don't feel being better than others, but having been part of a very bad cult, obliges me to look double now, what can I allow myself to do.As far as my own kids are concerned, they would frown/laugh at any such allegations/suspicions, for if I were such bad addict, it would latest sadly inflict my kids (as I got mated/own kids fairly late)
But isn't it rather normal/logical, that the ones who have participated in the sexual abuse, don't
post here (anymore...I am thinking particularly of someone, fairly famous, who posted after "defection" for a few times, but then no more, without having been told to leave.I just summed up/added things up in my mind from the various boards.)Just to say...I am not a criminologist... but why would someone go constantly past by a police-station, if he had committed crimes?Would that be likely??...ok the comparison is "limping", I figure/realise...I guess you'd prefer some real authority behind the board here (although who knows???), but I doubt people would like the exposure and with the determination of most of the SGAs...at least in former times...who would then be so bold to post here??
See, the truth about TF is already ugly enough without having to resort to senseless allegations, that everybody (meaning a mathematical valid a l l ) personally committed the sexual abuse crimes.It was already discussed widely, also with Jules "help" & intervention here, how responsible we were, even if not personally having committed something...or seen it...seeing includes for me nowadays, having read the literature...although frankly, I was then not really sure, what Davidito exactly had to suffer by things being termed as love-up-time etc or I put mentally "make-up" on it....many things didn't cross as much my mind as it should have or wasn't on my radar & priority list...I know Berg prepared the ground via the letters and that's where I really failed the most, to see the healthy difference.
My personal...(Un)Christian ...crimes happen to be more on the line of sharing and FFing or instigating someone to FF...plus some bad corporal punishment for which I had asked my 2 "foster-children" for forgivenes, besides taking them too often postering etc. (Although later I went all by myself)...plus collecting funds or having visas extended on false premises, through bribes.I am not proud about that and as I said, I have the obligation...feel it...to try double hard, not to err again in other areas.
You will not trust the blameless?...pretty good advise...I also happen to distrust people, who claim to be very good & either provide themselves some super image about them by others or bragging about their "superiority" themselves.
However do try to make some friendships, by openly saying into the parties face, that you don't believe, what they earnestly tried to tell you.Will that fiendship work???
You can distrust the "naturally" suspicious...although that lead me in life to quite a few prejudices, I was later ashamed of.It could be, that you hardly loose the inbuild distrust with some type of people, lets say the FGAs, that is possible, even very likely...yet that doesn't make the prejudice automatically a waterproof verdict under earthly or divine scrutiny...I treasure your being here...no false buttering up.I rather hear criticism, if it leads somewhere, even me changing (what I need to) or something else being changed or newly understood, those are real gains...air after some cloudburst, lightening and thunder can be super fresh and inspiring.
Thanks for enduring me and may be you describe one day more, what you termed as apathetic...to have pathos for something can be very good...for other things it might be wasted energy...something like that...I am sure you have some likings/pathos (pathos can have such a vast variety of meanings) for something...and I figure, you lost interest in discussing/pursuing an agenda, which caused you to suffer...hence becoming apathetic.
I would like to hear more of you...if you can manage that?I really hope for the very best for you!!!!!!
