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In Reply to: Re: I should add posted by Thinker on January 28, 2009 at 03:50:19:
I think we were all pretty well chewed up and spit out. I don't think it's a phenomenon that many talk in terms of "i didn't do it, it wasn't me" if they feel they are being put in the same boat as serial molesters and rapists and they weren't one. I can see how some could feel offended by me just saying this! It does not negate the fact that I was in TF and witness to or aware of many abuses before I left. I can honestly say that I did not realize they were abuses at the point of leaving. That realization came a bit later. But emotionally dealing with that took years.
In recent years, I had my own wounds to lick and wasn't ready to hear the way the pain of an entire generation was expressed, and what happened to them both when I was in (weren't many kids at that time) and then later when there were combos/jumbos, etc, and kids were growing up and being serially molested as widespread doctrine, put on sharing schedules, and so on.
Part of me was going back to the time when I was young and remembering people from the earlier days when all this was not becoming widespread doctrine. When I left, prostituting women was in full swing and children were starting to be sexualized and the Davidito "my little fish" had come out as well as some other sexualizing materials that made it clear what was coming down the tubes and already happening in the house of berg. It triggered me really bad and I left with my kids. My state of mind at the time was that I thought I was wrong. Yes my head was very screwed up and yes, I hate that I was ever a part in any way of what TF was.
Therefore, I did not handle the criticism and anger that is reasonable to expect considering what happened. That means any anger directed at me for having not been born into the Family.
I think that is normal for FG, rather than phenomenon because it is horrifying (if a person has a conscience and/or is able to look back at the experience) to come to terms with. Many of us have left and worked with cult awareness orgs and some of us have done interviews, sometimes years later, to affirm that the abuses that are alleged are not simply allegations, but if anything, under exagerated accounts of what occurred.
But is there room for people to understand each other and that others DO move on, grow through the horrors of the past, manage to piece together the reality of what was then? That they can take responsibility for having been a part of that, but also give themselves credit where credit is deserved, like in not crossing lines, or getting out and talking to authorities about what was known at or just after the time of leaving.
Most likely, a person that gets their life straightened out after going down an insane cult path, is not going to admit anything illegal done any more than a junkie that gets clean is going to go to the cops and tell all their sources, what they did and hand over their rigs and face prison time.
In their recovery circles, it is not expected with some exceptions. If someone murdered another person or was a molester, their sponsor (if a good one) would support them to get help, which would mean facing the crime and possibly doing some time. It would certainly mean they'd need to stay away from drugs AND from kids.
