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In Reply to: Re: Passing through here/ To 2G(?) posting posted by Jo on January 28, 2009 at 01:54:32:
You wrote: "I'm not even sure if you are a 2G person because I've known of a FG who posted as if they were 2G. So it gets real confusing. That's one reason that posting is something I seldom do any more."
Jo, I love reading your posts. They make so much sense to me -- they always contain embedded elements of sensibility and healing. So I wish you wouldn't stop posting just because of some confusion over Gs.
I don't know if you meant me, but I don't neatly fit into the FG category because I was young when I joined, and I was sexually abused as a child, just like SGs. I know a couple of other people like me who are closer in age and experiences to SG than to FG (and the I'm youngest of these), but alas we're always technically on the "the other side" of SG issues whenever "they" feel the need to pit and pitch against "us." To add to the confusion, there are older SG who were responsible for the wellbeing of other younger SG, and these older SG have also been shunned or criticized.
There will always be differences between the Gs, and the first G will always bear ultimate responsibility for creating and perpetuating the madness, but it's not all about which G, and it's not alwyas possible to generalize responsibility for all the bad that happened according to broad G-categories. I see the exchange below as a classic example of that.
When it comes to myself, like you, I didn't join a sex cult. I joined a group of "unorthodox volunteers" who hid their true beliefs and practices from me for years as a catacomber. They waited and waited till I was hooked, until I had burnt all my bridges, until they were sure I was a safe and useful asset. Still, as much as I can say I was duped, I assume (limited) responsiblity for being part of the first generation who perpetuated the mess and enabled the monster by giving of myself, by volunteering away my youth to the cause, by tithing, by lending them my name, my face. I shudder to think how many people I influenced to join because they saw me and thought, "he seems nice and smart enough; if it's good enough for him, it's good enough for me."
And yet, when it comes down to it, I know I cannot take all of the blame for some of the very horrible things that happened to SGs in general, because I wasn't there, didn't know about it, because I had left.
Did I see bad things and think they were OK? Yes, some stuff was actually pretty normal to me. Did I later change my perception about what is good and bad after leaving? Hell, yes! Do I look back and think "how on earth did I miss that?" or "what was I thinking!?" Yes. That tells me that I was both duped (since "brainwashed" is no longer PC) and responsible for enabling the beast.
Maybe in the end it's like Game Theory. We all do our small little part, to add to the end result. To quote/paraphrase myself in another post on another subject:
At a rock oncert, nobody conspires to crush or kill anybody in the front. Everyone wants to get closer to the stage. Everyone adds their 1 or 2 lbs of weight, pushing forward. It all adds up to hundreds of lbs at the front, and people lose their balance, get swept off their feet; rib cages get crushed; people lose consciousness and fall and get trampled on; people die. In the end, everyone was responsible, but nobody was responsible.
