exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #30677

James: since you are having trouble following your own statements

Posted by Coordinator on March 11, 2008 at 10:44:10

In Reply to: Re: It's real simple posted by Coordinator on March 10, 2008 at 21:10:15:

Perry posted excerpts and a link to an article: The article was in fact, not about sex life suffering due to spanking, but the statistically increased chances of problems related to sex, such as:

coerced sex
risky sex
masochistic sex

James, you posted this, saying spanking does not cause sex life to suffer (my emphases):

Yea, all this BS studies again that so and so doctor thinks spanking causes sexual problems. Sorry, but I don't buy this garbage. Unless your beating the crape out of a kid, knockings it's genitals about while spanking then maybe yes, but a little smack on the behind does not lead to sexual problems. I should know, as I got spankings as a kid, but I don't feel my sex life suffers from it. At least I now know when the day comes I do have encounter a problem with sex I can remember what the doctor said and blame it on my daddy. Anyway, where you going with this one? Did your Daddy destroy your sex life? On the other hand, actual sexual abuse to a child will have an effect. Theres a difference. It was obvious you did not read the article, and were answering in the context of sex life being destoyed and damaged sexual genitalia. You also showed insensitivity regarding the subject of abuse, by taunting Perry and making it personal: if Perry (or anyone) has indeed been affected by abuse, that would have been very inappropriate. We take this kind of thing very seriously over here. People who have been abused need a safe space to talk, and you are taking away from that environment. If you cannot comply with the guidelines, you should not use our boards. The genX board's guidelines state among other things:

...do not expect a warm reception [...] if you make standardized Family arguments and generalized statements minimizing/discounting facts re: abuse.
Insensitivity will not be tolerated. We will make provision for inevitable unintentional misunderstandings and marked differences of opinion that can arise from interaction between posters, but deliberate and repeated hurtful or abrasive behavior will result in being banned.
No unwelcome familiarity or badgering...
No personal attacks...

You were rebuffed and warned. But instead of heeding the warning, you tried to debate with me the topic you already answered out of context (and continued to do so), and make it personal with me: Did your feathers get ruffled or is the writer of the topic in question your bosom buddy, thus your trying to protect them?
(see re: Dear James for full context) You had posted this statement (my context markers in brackets): On the other hand, actual sexual abuse [and not spanking] to a child will have an effect [on sex life]. Theres a difference. So your statement thus far was: spankings do not lead to sexual problems whereas sexual abuse does.

"Abused" challenged the last half of your statement that sexual abuse will lead to problems (here), showing you that your statement does not hold up: I was abused sexually as a child. It didn´t affect my sex life. You then posted a reply to "Abused" which made no sense (my emphasis): If you read my comment, that is what I was driving at. What I wasn't saying was this attempt at linking spankings to sexual problems is a bit lame. So which way is it?

It is not clear whether you are now backing off from your categorical statement that spankings do not lead to sexual problems whereas sexual abuse does, or if you are now agreeing with "Abused" that you are wrong--you can't have it both ways. People were challenging your categorical statements.

"Thinker" pointed out to you (here), that you answered (here and here) to rhetorical points ("howling," "expert") and ignored the main points of what was posted to you. And still, instead of replying to them properly, you tried to draw me in to arguments and inuendo, trying to make it personal (I had to delete 2 such posts). As I pointed out to you, I am the coordinator, not debater

In any case, if there were typos, faulty grammar or language difficulties involved, you have to get your act together where you stand on what, read the posts you wish to reply to carefully, and use care when replying, and not make it personal. Our board rules and guidelines state: Avoid mindless rhetoric. If you wish to debate, do your homework. This is the kind of board we run. If you don't like it, it's no place for you.

You are now suspended from posting for a week. You are welcome to resume posting after that, if you're able to comply with our rules.