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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #30518

Re: Here I go with my mantra

Posted by Farmer on January 30, 2008 at 05:58:52

In Reply to: Re: Here I go with my mantra posted by Thinker on January 29, 2008 at 19:26:53:

Right, that's why I said I don't "believe" in the universal behaviour of TF...of course there were common behaviours/attitude/actions...like collecting funds, devotions, etc. etc. & corporal punishment was agreed to.When it was administered was a thing of the couple, the parents.I was sometimes a childcare helper & in cases I wasn't the "official" childcare-helper, you just reported the "offense" of the child, meaning, it was up to the parents, how to react, if present etc...and frankly I don't really remember spanking other people's kids other than as foster-parent in a patch-up-union.

I know spanking happened plenty...many times it was like that: child A played happily with a toy, child B be got "envious"...takes away that toy...child B gets warned of the overseer, parent whatever and by the nth time...in TF usually the third gets spanked...remember: the offending member...usually the hand.

I argued, that with bedwetting, it's a bit hard for the parents to "diagnose" a wilful behaviour...I don't know how Berg thinks it to be a thing of the will...as I skimmed through that letter - first time since decades - I think you must realise, that Berg & Co. were pretty helpless, speechless...(Nowadays I just would give it time, medical counsel...buying a foammattress, whatever...giving real love...that was probably missing with Ricky...)now it doesn't say, that they exorcised David being present etc....it's some "lame" prayer in the middle of the night, with adults present, due to the "big" revelation Berg got.

So please thinker, it would be nice to always add: I was there during such & such time at such a place...it's so relative, as you seem to realise, but since we know each others backgrounds/biographies so little...it'd be nice, if people here on the board could be a little more outspoken...frankly, it's a bit annoying the amount of secrecy and anonymity...it has it drawbacks...cause everybody is right in his own experiences...it should be a goal to set all these "rights" into perspective: time and places...otherwise we all fall prey to and are prone to a lot of prejudices.On the one hand there are the letters as facts, documentated here & elsewhere and on the other hand what people made of it and mind you there was another possibility, that people went beyond the letters, being "worse" in some instances, than the letters...people having their own kingdoms.

I would like to think, that you also consider bedwetting as a problem, which needs to be solved...that TF was helpless in many such cases I wouldn't want to argue...I was just arguing, that many parents of/in society are just as clueless and as we realise, that we were far from being saints, it doesn't make sense to me, to uphold society as the big example for us.My protest against much of society hasn't changed...I hope you can see, that in several instances society is worse than TF, which doesn't take the blame away from us or TF but it's important to keep things in perspective, to be as objective as possible...that is/was about my "misson" ; )