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In Reply to: Re: True Story about Mind Control posted by Jo on January 25, 2007 at 16:07:48:
well my fear factor went in so many different directions for tragic reasons. when i found the note in petes wallet from keda saying that she & TF would help him financially to get himself & steven out of the country & also provide a home for him in tokyo, i went straight down to the magistrate in manly (sydney) and told her my plight. i was instructed to place his name on the airport watchlist which i was to do the next day. well i couldnt keep my mouth shut so when i got home i confronted him & told him I had found the letter. he convinced me with tears and threats of suicide that he would NEVER take a child from its mother, and that letter was an old response from a 'whim' he had had quite a while before. he said he wrote the initial letter to keda in anger but didnt mean it at all. he threw himself on the floor crying like a baby, saying if steven & i left the marriage he would kill himself. if steven was taken from him he would kill himself.
my brother and father had both just committed suicide the year before so the trigger there was plain and simple. another suicide in my young life. i felt that suicides were following me everywhere...i did not want anyone else to take their life. that is what i feared the most. suicide. so instead of putting my son & myself first, i believed him (and i really and truely did) that he would never take steve away from me. we sat up all night talking about keeping two parents for steven and living seperate lives under the same roof. i promised i would not rip up his bible anymore and he promised he would not associate with family members anywhere near me or steven & keep all that stuff to himself. i was so naive. i know now those crocodile tears were panic tears as he had actually planned to hop on that plane the very next day which he had plotted & planned for 6 months. he was crying cause he paid for his ticket and all systems were go and i was ruining his plan. i know i was young but i was a fool. i actually felt sorry for him & did what my mum had done with dad & stayed with him throughout their horrific marriage - feeling pity and almost responsible. sorry jo, didnt mean for this reply to be so long winded and off the track. i didnt even answer your question.
during the time that steve had been abducted fear actually left the building. something so strong came over me - i could not allow myself to be fearful i had to be strong and believe with all my soul & heart that i would find steven. i never ever doubted that for a second. the fear sure kicked in though when i came home with my bubby in my arms. fear that he would be taken away from me again. or because i backslid a dreadful thing would happen to him or my family. i did not leave my mums house for many many months later & for years & years, i had eyes in the back of my head & my eagle eye would be on the lookout the whole time. the ironic thing, over the next ten years i ended up doing dreadful things to myself. take care jo.
