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In Reply to: Fidelity posted by Swede on April 12, 2006 at 02:15:55:
I've watched several drphil.com shows and, so far, he has made it quite clear that those seeking, and those involved in, affairs need SERIOUS IMPULSE CONTROL therapy. Yet, there was a woman on the show just the other day who loved sex and lots of it, was in a 3-way sexual-marital relationship with her lover and her lover's hubby, was pregnant by her lover's hubby, had her own personal x-rated web page wherin she posts her personal photos and love-ups, etc... and was on the show defending how good everything was, and that her 3-some relationship was working, that it wasn't bad for the kids since she was teaching them all about being free and honest as well as responsible.
Dr. Phil offered that her liberal view on things could be a, "chip on the shoulder" response to her earlier experiences in life - overly controlled, strict, etc... He also asked her to consider the things that she had, perhaps, ommitted teaching the kids - "Where is the emotional, spiritual, special part of the union between two people, or in this case three, that goes into the education of a child understanding the special bond in sharing of sexual intimacy?" he said. I guess, since her mind seemed to be made up, He summed up with the comment, "We are in America." Hmmm!
Anyway, the show got me to thinking about the Fam and Moses David's "coming out" from what has been diagnosed as his "repressed childhood experiences." Was it all just immature impulse control, a chip on his shoulder? Did his sexual "coming out" bare good fruit, teach, by example, the personal spiritual intimacy between him and Mother Eve, (if I remember correctly, they weren't ever able to work those things through in their marriage - he slapped her around for 'not submitting', and complained constantly how out of it she was, hence taking on Maria who turned out to be much more submitted. Was his poligamous agenda good for his personal family? It doesn't seem so, does it? Was it good for me? If it was, why am out out here having to heal from it?
My answer to, "Did some of us suffer from bad relationships?" is YES! Do some of us cheat? I don't doubt it, but I personally feel that those who do, cheat not only their spouse but their children as well. And the excuses are, well, all the same, excuses. Are we now brainwashing ourselves from MD's brainwash? I think so. Is there personal, spiritual and emotional intimacy for a couple like Fran and I who are both family survivors - Yes, we have touched it. Is it possible for others, no matter what the background? Yes, imo.
