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In Reply to: Very much so posted by CB on February 20, 2006 at 18:19:05:
I was posting as JS but will use JSP to avoid confusion because although Joseph and Jane usually post with their names, I realize that "JS" is their initials too. Don't think that was one of them using the same handle and really don't care who it was I just want to avoid confusion.
From what I understand there are many disciplines for dealing with the past. Certainly Cognitive-Behavioral approach is helpful but I found it very helpful to talk REPEATEDLY until the poison was out of the wounds, for the most part anyway, about abuses of the past. I didn't have to revisit every miserable occurrence as that would take up so much of what is left of my life. But there were key things I had to look at many times.
It would be nice if there was 8-10 sessions cure-all for people for A-Z trauma but I don't believe it exists. How wonderful it would be if healing occurred as simply as rewinding a video and erasing the parts I didn't like!
I never found exercise to be a help the PTSD I experience regarding the anxiety or depression. I was biking for miles each day and did a lot of walking and had a very physical job when experiencing some of the worst of the PTSD symptoms. By the same token, meditation or relaxation made me very uncomfortable because of all the thought stopping activity in the Family.
I find that awareness of what triggers things helps me to understand what is going on and then I can more effectively control my reactions or at least be aware of them when something "presses those buttons".
My spouse who was never in the family came from a background of severe abuse and for her, talking about the past does not help. Not now and maybe not ever. I guess it is like the medications.
Different strokes for different folks. There is no "one size fits all" approach. Maybe that is why I see a good therapist or doctor like I do a good maintenance person or teacher- it's all an art and some people have a shine to what they do and not all of them cost a fortune!
I have found some good resources for help via "free" or "sliding scale" therapists or some that helped me that took me on for free when I couldn't pay. If anyone does not know where to begin to look for help but is interested, trying a local women's center (whether male or female) or a crisis hotline or whatever it takes is a good first step and will often provide a number of resources, at least in some of the larger cities.
From there it is good to know that if something feels wrong and you are uncomfortable with whomever you are seeing and talking about what makes you uncomfortable is not possible or does not make things better regarding your relationship with that therapist or doctor, just because it is low cost or even free does not mean you owe that person for taking you on!
Just as antidepressants often don't work with the first one you try, the same goes for therapists.
The ones that helped me most related to me because many people that work in psychiatry and psychology and social work are people that are attracted to the profession because of problems they have had in their own lives.
Many therapists see therapists. It isn't a weakness but a strength and a resource they use from time to time.
It's good to know some of the latest catch phrases and terms for the current type of therapy that is the latest rage but the bottom line is there is no reason to feel bad if it is not for YOU or if you need to repeat things or talk about the past.
When I was in the deepest hell of my illness I could not have been helped with 8-10 sessions. I don't think most people that leave the Family having grown up in it or having experienced abuse in it over years, or with a history of abuse before the Family will find a fast path to their own recovery. Neither do I see any one as helpless or beyond hope regardless of what they have been through if they can at least get to a point to put sentences together!
