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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #23345

Re: A moral dilemma

Posted by on October 28, 2005 at 00:00:55

In Reply to: A moral dilemma posted by John Concerned on October 27, 2005 at 23:01:10:

John- I have grapled with the same dilemma. There are many layers to this dilemma we share. For example, my experience in TF was diametrically different than my daughter's. For me, my experience began with a spiritual search. I could have had the same conversion experience in the local church, a Buddhist Temple, in a synagogue, or on the battlefield of Vietnam- it just happened to be in a commune with the Children of God. Entering into the cognizence of my spiritual being was essential to my survival at the age of seventeen. I cannot deny the soundness of the beauty of my rite of passage into my extraordinary experience of waking with others to our authentic selves any more than I can deny myself food. My daughter's experience was not the same as mine. Her's was not a spiritual search. She suffered unspeakable horror in the communes of TF. As much as my daughter would like me to see TF as she does, or give up my experience with TF for hers, this is an impossibility. Neither experience invalidates the other.
The answer for me was compassion. When I realized what horror mine, and other children of the Children of God experienced, I knew that TFI had to end as we know it. I set aside any attempts to help end TFI for years while I reunited with my two wonderful daughters. We reveled in our new relationship and busied ourselves with the stuff of life- family, education, jobs, etc. Then January 2005 hit like a bomb. After watching Ricky's entire video I felt a social responsibility creep through my viens. Ricky represented for me all the children of the Children of God who didn't have a father to go to after leaving TF. I made a choice that day to do everything I could to end TFI as we know it. I made this choice out of compassion and not out of guilt.
John, listen to the stories of the hundreds of our children who suffered unspeakable harm while in the confines of TF. Let their voices fill you with compassion, and not guilt. Make a responsible choice. Idealism is not a dirty word.
Reconnect with your authentic self- that self that guided you when you were young and full of good ideals. Then make a choice, and don't look back.
Good luck to you.