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In Reply to: I never watched Dr. Phil before posted by Oldtimer on October 06, 2005 at 11:21:33:
If everyone can just settle down and let it happen. The spotlight is on TF, they are interacting with people at the message board on Dr. Phil. Do you realize this is the first time they have been sent to a place to post and exmembers are there to challenge them? They've never been in that situation before, they've always been sheltered from any dissenting opinion.
There is a very popular show that has put the spotlight on these young people and the trauma they are facing, trying to put the pieces of their lives back together - that is a very, very good thing and I'm thankful to Jim's bullish personality as it worked in this case, even if in the end it seems to have worked against him - but that can be good too as it may give him the opportunity to review some of his practices and how he appears to others.
Jim is seeing a therapist he likes, hopefully with some time he will settle down and get his priorities right. Yeah, he didn't come off good on camera, yeah, the producers manipulated things as producers do, but the telling thing to me was at the last moment Dr. Phil was asking him, do you want to see this to the end with us and we will walk you through with qualified therapists? And he could barely get an answer out of Jim. I was so hoping to hear that strong voice that is so usually an elephant in a china shop scream out - "Yes, please help me reestablish a relationship with my daughter, whatever it takes." I didn't hear it. I just can't see how that was producer manipulation and it certainly wouldn't be considered making it a Jerry Springer moment.
But with time and hope and this new counselor, he will see how his daughter is viewing him and why and not blame it on her only. A lot of times bad things bring about good results. It spurs us into motion, gets us to take another look at things, gets other people involved, etc., etc.
However, it was disconcerting to see that letter that Jim posted on his website. The worst part to me was reading how he was still trying to get Kristi to be what he wants her to be - in this case, seeing Dr. Phil's therapist and demanding to the producers that they not allow the show to be aired until she sees THEIR therapist. Apparently, Kristi has her own and is comfortable with that. Here Jim has still not learned what Dr. Phil was so correctly trying to show him - stop trying to control Kristi - give her her space to be as she wants to be. Let her own her own life. Pull your punches, bite your tongue, whatever it takes. Obviously, she has pulled away because she doesn't like it. That's the big hint right there. I don't see anything being resolved until Jim can do this. I hope and pray for the best, however. I believe it can happen and will if we let it slide into the background and let them work out these differences.
