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In Reply to: Re: How soon????? posted by Indian Joe on October 03, 2005 at 20:58:35:
I recorded it too but unfortunately mine is missing several minutes from the end of the show due to a "disc error." If you could upload the one you have that would be great.
This is the part that is missing from my copy:
(Announcements)
McGRAW: We're talking to people who are trying to build a new life after leaving an abusive cult. Now there's something that is referred to in this Family cult as the Second Generation. And it's you--you two, it's the people that have been in there and then found their way out.
KRISTI: It's the people who were born in and didn't have a choice to join or not.
McGRAW: Right. And the question is, what happens with those people? Because you're seeing your friends get so frustrated that they're killing themselves.
KRISTI: My brothers.
McGRAW: You've had suicide with people that you consider your brothers. You've had the same experiences in--in your life. Now, do you--do you get the point about the resocialization that needs to take place?
JIM: Yeah.
McGRAW: And do you get the point that you are not qualified to provide that?
JIM: Yeah. McGRAW: You don't have that training, and it is very specialized training, Dr. Lawlis. True?
Dr. LAWLIS: Very much so. You have to learn how to basically desensitize yourself to the past so that you can go forward.
McGRAW: And you--you need that. Do you agree?
KRISTI: Yes.
McGRAW: You agree with that?
KRISTI: Yes.
McGRAW: And do you agree with that?
JIM: Absolutely.
McGRAW: Because I--and, you know, one of the things Dr. Lawlis is saying is you cannot ignore the past.
JIM: Right.
McGRAW: But you've got to walk out of that history. You have to learn againwhat to trust and what not to trust. And she does not trust you at thispoint. And you don't trust her because you say, you know, `I see him tryingto write this book. That bothers me.' Then y--you get with Ricky's, was with his widow, that y--that you talked to because you wanted to shield her from the media, but then you tried to get her to sign a book deal as well. Correct?
JIM: No.
KRISTI: It was a contract to the rights to the story.
McGRAW: Yeah. A contract to the rights of the story.
JIM: No, it was a contract to protect them, that eventually happened.
McGRAW: That gave you 30 percent.
JIM: It was a contract that I wrote.
McGRAW: And--and so you wonder is--what's his motive here? When do I get to be the top of the priority list, right?
KRISTI: When does the idea of what these victims went through become thefirst priority instead of the agenda to make money or sell books or sellstories or anything else?
McGRAW: One of your positions is that by telling that story and drawing attention to it, you do help people that have been through it so they know they're not alone, so maybe attention will be brought to it like Jay did with the Colorado City cult that wound up with it being smooth out busted, as a product of Jay's efforts and a whole lot of other people that worked on thatfor a long, long time.
JIM: Right.
McGRAW: Wasn't just Jay, but we certainly think we contributed to it here. You're saying it can only help to turn the floodlights on over there.
JIM: Exactly.
McGRAW: Right? And your problem is that that seems to be the top priorityinstead of this relationship, and you question the profit motive in it aswell.
KRISTI: I see my father act in this way. I wonder how much of his motivation comes from really benevolent type of a feeling instead of what he can gain from it.
McGRAW: Will you stay in this long enough for me, with the help of--of Dr. Lawlis and Anthony Haskins, who is our resource coordinator here, allow me toget you some professional help, that you won't get discouraged about, to seeif we can learn to put some boundaries around this relationship and begin tobuild it back in a healthy way, so you don't lose a parent again.
JIM: Yes.
McGRAW: Will--will you participate in that?
KRISTI: Absolutely. I want a parent who wants to be a parent. That's all I'm asking for.
McGRAW: And I want to offer the same help to the two of you in finding yourway through here to be sure that you're doing the right thing for thatprecious child that you have.
Now, we invited members of The Family to come to the show, and, surprise, theyd eclined. The Family says that some young people were hurt by inappropriate sexual behaviors by adults, but in 1986, they banned all that kind of conduct.
Unfortunately, after you had been there, and you all had been there, spokesperson Clara Borowick, I don't know if I'm pronouncing your name right, Clara, so if I'm not, I apologize, issued a statement saying, "Our goal is that these incidents of harm should never occur, and we're very sorry and have apologized for any cases that may have occurred in the distant past." Don't believe that catches it. Don't believe that quite fixes the problem, to just say, `Whoops, we're sorry.'
We're going to take a break. When we come back, I'm going to answer your question, do you prosecute those parents. We'll be right back.
(Announcements)
McGRAW: I want to say thanks again to a gentleman by the name of Mike Watkissat KTVK News Channel 3 which is our affiliate in Phoenix, Arizona, for some of the amazing news coverage that you saw of the Colorado City story.
Mike, you did a great job in helping to bring this Colorado City cult to accountability.
I want to tell you guys that you need to be selfish for a period of time because when you ask a question, do I prosecute these abusers, and--and my rule is always this, your goal any time you have trauma in your past is to tryto get emotional closure. And what you need to do to get that closure is what I call the minimal effective response, an MER, what is the least thing you cando that allows you to get that closure. But you need to do whatever it takes for you to say, `I am walking out of my history. I will not live in this another minute.' We're going to get you some professional help and counseling, and you can discuss that and go through the options at that point and make a studied decision about what's the best thing for you and your family at thistime.
Now Ricky did some things. He--he went and shot somebody and killed them. That's not a minimal effective response. That's a counterproductive response, and it--it--it wound up ending his life. Not a good choice. And we're going to get you the professional help to try to salvage that relationship and give you some direction.
