For Jim: The 12 Steps of Bullies Anonymous

1. Admitted we were powerless over our disdain for the survivors and our strong-arm campaign had become unmanageable (not to mention that letting the condescension show had become counterproductive to our
own goals).

2. Came to believe that listening to others for a change could restore us to sanity (or even just some basic standards of conduct).

3. Made a decision to turn our media domination campaign and our business plan over to the professionalism of the FBI as we understood it.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves (Note to Self: Jules does not qualify as “ourselves”).

5. Admitted to MovingOn, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to cease and desist in acting out all these defects of character (without reference to anybody else’s defects) and humbly asked MovingOn to point out how we could mitigate our shortcomings (without reference to anybody else’s shortcomings).

7. Made a list of all the survivors we had
revictimized and became willing to make amends to them all.

8. Made amends to such survivors wherever possible except where to do so would further injure them or other survivors.

9. Continued to take personal inventory of ourselves (Note to Self: inventory of Nancy does not qualify as “personal” unless you are Nancy) and when we’d been scummy promptly admitted it.

10. Sought through reasoning and medication to improve our conscious contact with reality as a consensus of reasonable persons understood it, praying only for common decency and the power to carry that out.

11. Acknowledged that this was not all about myself and that no, Ricky’s story was not my story nor were the SGs’ stories mine. Also noted the spelling of subpoena and that it has nothing to do with having a subpar phallus.

12. Having had a rude awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to insensitive narcissists and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Do not be discouraged. None of us has maintained
anything like perfect adherence to these principles of civility, but we are willing to grow along common sense lines. The tips we have set out are guides to progress. We claim progress in respectfulness rather than perfect self-awareness.

(If this fellowship is not for you, there is always Saviour Complex Anonymous, Johnny-Come-Latelies Anonymous, and Bull-in-a-China Shop Anonymous.)

Disclaimer: I didn't write this. It was sent to me by a friend.